I Dwell In Possibility

Finger Eleven - Paralyzer

2007-07-13T09:54:00.001-04:00

This is my current song obsession. Along with that, I am loving the video as well. The main girl in it is friggin hot. I mean, really hot.

That bayonet is simply fabulous!

2007-06-11T19:29:00.000-04:00

Hi! I'm back briefly to blog about a... Get ready for it... Gay bomb!
An ingenious idea pursued by our great American Military. Goodness, think how the Battle for the Western Front could have gone! A mass orgy in the trenches. The Christmas Truce could also have been a story of lust and love: two soldiers, separated by country, surpass insurmountable odds to come together in a time of chaos.

The world would be a more fashionable place now, eh?
Mullets would never have existed...
Barbara Streisand would be President...

In all seriousness, how can the U.S. government justify spending my tax dollars on something this ridiculous and downright offensive? I can't really add much to what is expressed in the video clip by the interviewees. The entire notion is so ridiculous and unfathomable - I cannot help but make light and use bad puns.

Now, what's a girl have to do to get a sample of that stuff? I could find a few women to test it on. Kiera Knightly, baby, call me.

I wonder if the government funded this Gay Experiment as well.

Smallville: Phantom

2007-05-12T02:15:00.001-04:00

For those of you who do not watch Smallville, before I disavow you as Extremely Loyal Blog Readers (ELBR), I thought I would tempt you with the trailer from the season finale next week.

Oh, how I love this show.

No alcohol

2007-05-10T03:25:00.003-04:00

An American hero fallen.

Please, Hoff, for the good of mankind, no alcohol.

Hooked on a Feeling

2007-05-10T03:25:00.001-04:00

Oga cha oga cha...

Mmm rwarr?

2007-05-06T04:06:00.000-04:00

Almost forgot. The print I bought at the museum. Obviously I am trying to reinforce the fact I am a lesbian by buying another cat print.

Look into my eyes: You will be assimilated

2007-05-06T03:29:00.000-04:00

So, today some friends and I went to the National Gallery of Art and were very unsettled and, well, amused by a sculpture we encountered.

(You will need to click on it to view full size to see what I mean.)
So, seriously, what the fuck. Did the artist finish the masterpiece and think, "Hmmmm.... Sa'm'ting es missing..." (That's artsy speak, FYI - Most of my friends with were artists, they can vouch for this.) "Ah, o'course! Ze eyes! Zey haf no pupeels! Frederico! Vetch me ze black peint! ...An' another flagon of wine!"

And my goodness, look at the Baby Jesus. He's...Well... He doesn't quite look neither innocent nor child-like. I considered this on my extended ride home...I swear, it never fails that I will go the wrong way on the beltway every single time I try to traverse it... Naturally I spend my time pondering the Baby Jesus' likeness in art.

I surmised that perhaps the Baby Jesus' face was sculpted in the likeness of the Pope in that era. That makes sense considering how autocratic the Roman Catholic Church was at the time this sculpture was crafted. Face it, that baby has Pope written all over it.

I don't get the eyes though. I just can't see, the wealthy bourgeoisie who commissioned this, say that it looks great. So yeah, WTF.

Oh, I can't quite figure out the "thing" emerging from Baby Jesus' toga. Any ideas?

Emilio Estevez with Wings!

2007-04-30T22:54:00.001-04:00

I thought I would also share the video from my favorite Melissa song, The Angels.

Its strange, this had always been my favorite song of her's and I had no explanation why. I just felt something when I listened to it. Years later, today, I find this song to be an accurate representation of my life and experiences with love.

Wow, still feeling very gay

2007-04-30T22:40:00.001-04:00

...After writing that long ass post about gay magazines.

Ladies, let me leave you a video to reminisce on one of the most powerful statements against Breast Cancer. This was so moving for me.

I don't think there is
another time when Melissa was more hot. I have such admiration for Melissa and she is an inspiration to so very many women.

I'm feeling really gay today...

2007-04-30T22:01:00.000-04:00

I find myself lucky to have grown up, and been a part of, the gay and lesbian rights movement. I'm a collector, I guess you could say. No, despite the fact I've been told I look like Elijah Wood, I am no collector as he was in Everything Is Illuminated. Which is a fabulous movie and a must see.
And I don't look like Elijah Wood - Especially not like him in that movie. Not that I look like him more as Frodo or something.

Ahem. So, I have something from every rally, every Pride, every "gay event" I've attended; then there's magazines. The magazines, all ones I've saved over the years, can be seen as stepping stones for me. Or simply things which had a profound influence on my life. They're in chronological order, not because I'm anal, but because that simply makes sense.

(And I'm anal.)

The Newsweek "Lesbians" edition is from 1993. I was a Junior in high school and just realizing my orientation. I bought this and kept it hidden from my parents. Hehe.

The KD Lang one came out shortly thereafter and it probably is to blame for my slight obsession with her as a Senior. I HAD the damn Rolling Stone where Melissa Etheridge came out but I have no idea what happened to it.

Ah, Glenn Close playing Margrethe Cammermeyer in Serving in Silence. February 1995. I was out then and I recall watching this with my mother.

Ellen coming out in 1997 was groundbreaking. I was a budding Internet junkie who debated and discussed Ellen on the AOL message boards. Whether or not Ellen was gay was a hot topic and it got quite heated in there. I wish I could see some of my posts now. I wonder how my views have changed. Probably not all that much considering...
I became a vehement critic of the show as it plummeted into the abyss of canceled shows. The shows writing changed and I found it painful to watch to the point I stopped watching long before it was canceled. I was very sorry to see it canceled, but I saw such a missed opportunity.

Now that the show had the nation's attention, it should have continued along a similar path that it had been. She came out, yes, but it felt like she did over and over again in each and every show thereafter. What Ellen is doing now is exactly what she was meant to. She has, arguably, the most popular daytime talkshow which caiters to American housewives. She does not remind them daily that she is gay. She is down to earth and, even those who are homophobic, can feel comfortable watching a lesbian woman host a talk show.

Anyway, I rambled there. The Advocate is from the 2000 Millineum March in Washington DC. Sadly, it is a little worse for wear then the others because it was a free handout there. Now that was quite an experience. Apparently I missed seeing the Phelps Pack there but I do recall one guy standing near the stage with some silly sign. No one really paid him any mind.

The Karina Lombard issue of Curve really fits as a 'stepping stone' - She's just hot and that's a hot cover.

Ah, and my sweet Melissa's announcement she has breast cancer. A sad and scary time. Oh, but then when she played at the Grammys with Joss Stone (I dunno if it was the Grammys or Emmys or what, I get them confused.) - Oh, did she bring the house down. What an absolutely inspirational performance.

I think I'll dig around through my boxes for some of the the nicknacks I've saved. Unfortunately, last year I had a 12 pack of pop burst in the trunk of my car which ruined my cork board and everything attached to it. I'm very much regretting leaving that in my trunk for so long. I had to throw away a lot of the stuff I had attached to it. :(

For God's Sake...

2007-04-25T22:32:00.000-04:00

Goodness, this is an interesting clip and the first I learned of this luncheon. I have to admit, O'Reilly does have a point at the end. Is it true?

Rosie's behavior was pretty disturbing to me, though I do understand what the guest is saying regarding the context and that it was a closed event. It's no secret I'm no fan of Rosie, I thought it would take a lot for her to shock me -- This did the trick.

What Hurts The Most

2007-04-24T02:01:00.001-04:00

Alright. I really like this song. For the first 45 seconds get up and brew a pot of coffee or something -- the dialog during the song sucks and ruins the video. That's what you get for the first 45 seconds. Really, the song as well; since there's dialog throughout the entire video. And also that the lead singer kind of reminds me of that N'Sync guy.

So, now that I've convinced you on what a fabulous song it is...

Anyway, I guess this song came out nearly a year ago now. You see, I meet newness and trends at my own pace. A resurgence, if you will.

Go Hokies

2007-04-18T01:24:00.000-04:00

It is so heartbreaking; listening to CNN. The first parent I had seen who had interviewed, at first, referred to his daughter in the present-tense. After doing so twice, he (to me) seemed to realize he was speaking of a daughter now deceased, and subsequently referred to her as one would speak of someone now gone. Everything which has happened has been such a shock -- I cannot imagine what those, who lost loved ones, are feeling right now.

I had written more, but it is just not flowing together right. I just haven't been in a writing mood lately -- Though I have thought up updating you guys many times, don't get me wrong. Now, when one could write so much, I find myself at a loss for more words.

300 - The PG Version

2007-04-07T12:08:00.001-04:00

LOL awesome

Spartan Fiesta

2007-03-10T13:41:00.000-05:00

So, I'd been having some trouble with my Debit card in the last week. I have had this particular card for years so I figured the strip was going bad when I kept getting randomly declined. For instance, I was able to purchase my movie ticket for 300 yesterday (YAY), but neither my debit nor my Discover card were accepted by the concession stand there. I did get a free drink because of it, but wish I had opted for nachos as well if we're talking. Then, last weekend, my card only worked when using the credit option at a certain 7-11.

Heading home from the movie last night, my card was not accepted at the Exxon. Hmmm. I need to order a new card because the strip is going bad. Yeah. I would have been Miss Cranky-Pants if I had been unable to purchase pop. You don't want to be around me if there's none in the house.

Today I was going to buy a DVD online from Netflix and they were unable to bill my card. WTF.
So I waited, not all that patiently, to speak with a representative from my bank. After some time I am told that there was a block placed on my card and asked if someone had called me. Uhm, no. Hmm, maybe I just had an epiphany here, but I think it would have been absolutely wonderful for the fucking bank to tell me they put a block on my card. I think he even sounded surprised I was not informed.

Apparently, someone attempted to check into the Pico De Gallo hotel in Brazil with my card. Fan-tastic. I know you're wondering where this 'Pico De Gallo' hotel is and how you can join in on the fiesta; but alas, there is no such place. Whatever hotel it was, however, probably does serve some wicked pico de gallo.

But that's all taken care of now, so it's all good. In retrospect, I've had this account/card for quite awhile, so I should have requested a change in the card number awhile ago.

Ah, 300 was very good. I expected it to be much more fantastical rather then historical, but it had the perfect combination of the two. I missed a History Channel special on the movie on Thursday, but I think I am glad I did. I would not have been as pleasantly surprised. It looks to be a good program, if you are interested, you can view a 2 minute clip of the program by clicking this link.

Well, now to make sure there are no keyloggers on my computers. Fun.

300

2007-03-09T00:44:00.000-05:00

This year has gone by so fast, wouldn't you agree? It's all good though, I'm as pleased as punch -- Wait, you know, that saying never made much sense to me. Anyway, I am eagerly awaiting 6:05 tomorrow when I am set comfortably in a seat; coat still worn since going to movie theatres is like visiting Antarctica, watching 300. Hopefully with a plate of nachos in my lap. That's my thing in movie theatres. Nachos.

Bittersweet Wednesdays

2007-02-22T00:01:00.000-05:00

Today marks a year since I had Peach put to sleep. I absolutely dreaded, and still dread, the anniversary of Friskey's death. I feel sort of guilty that I miss her more then Peach, but it is natural that we choose our favorites. I think, anyway. I dearly miss the guy though. He was definitely a true example of the different personalities pets have. I miss his vocal, "Rawr-rawr meow rawr!" greeting and when I played 'kick his butt' with him. Yes, what you always thought was true - I am, unequivocally, a strange person.

With Friskey, the anniversary was on my mind days before and I dreaded the day -- I do this year as well. But, today was a much better day then this day last year. I had a wonderful date tonight and I was all smiles on the ride home. I am exhausted though, and tomorrow is going to be a long day at work, so this is not going to be a long post.

Oh, and for all of you cat owners out there, I wanted to also relay a link to a product I purchased for my cats which arrived today. When I walked in tonight the first thing my roommate said to me was, 'Whatever is in that package, the cats have been going nuts over it all day'. For a $5.00 donation you can purchase a kitty pillow stuffed with catnip. They've been going nuts over it! Meek little Xena even fought off Guy, who is twice her size and weight, for the pillow -- And won!
http://www.itsmeowornever.org/shop_kitty_kickers.html

Spoil those cats and enjoy every moment you can with them.

The Latest Scoop

2007-02-14T23:27:00.000-05:00

Coming to store shelves near you: Steven Colbert's AmeriCone Dream by Ben and Jerry's. It's vanilla ice cream with fudge-covered waffle cone pieces and caramel. Yum!

Ben & Jerry's called it: "The sweet taste of liberty in your mouth."

Mmmm...Liberty.

LFF!

2007-02-13T19:57:00.000-05:00

So, I was looking on Showtime.com for this week's sneak peek at the next L Word and I took particular notice of an advertisement there. I'd like to know where the lesbians and gay men are who would give something like this to their partner. Seriously. I don't get it.

Maybe I'm just such the cynic that I cannot see what great thought was put into this improvised best friends necklace suspended by, not one, but two colors of string. Of course, placing myself on the receiving end of this gift, I know we'd eventually be BFF soon enough! Lesbians do seem to struggle letting ex-girlfriends go - And I'd have to go if my girlfriend got me a necklace like that.

And the commitment ring. I just don't even know what to say about it.

You Complete Me

2007-02-11T23:50:00.000-05:00

All of you who read this sad excuse for a blog: You complete me.

So, AOL had a blurb listing the top five romantic movie moments. The following movies were selected and the scene aired. All pretty romantic and gooey sweet. I'm just looking at the movies on a whole though. A great scene needs the proper amount of build-up.

Without further ado:

Pretty Woman

I adore Julia Roberts, she is one of my favorite actresses and is so incredibly beautiful. Richard Gere is the perfect urban hero.

Sleepless in Seattle

I kinda think I like You've Got Mail better. Its still a good enough romance though.

Ghost

Too much of a tear jerker for me. I like the movie, but I want a happy romantic ending! I think this movie had too much of an impact on my first girlfriend. She always used the term 'ditto'. Sadly, she was not quite on the bright side and thought it was spelled 'diddo'. Note, this was also the girlfriend who thought if you walked out into the ocean too far the continent just dropped off.

Titanic

Meh. See above. The part about happy endings. Ah, My Heart Will Go On was 'our song' with another ex. Oh, young love...

Jerry Maguire

I love this movie. The movie did make the lines "you complete me" and "you had me at hello" cliche', but it doesn't make less meaningful when watching the movie the first time. Er, and Secret Garden is another song I shared with another ex. WTF. Apparently it is paramount that a romantic movie with notable theme song is released for me to be involved in a serious relationship again.

So here's the important stuff. What my top 5 Most Romantic Movies are.

Notting Hill
I LOVE this movie to death. Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant. Yum. The first time I saw the movie I could have watched it again right then. Of course there is a measure of corny-ness in some of the lines, but its such the perfect Hollywood romance.

The American President
Mmm, Annette Bening. The ending is so sweet.

Jerry Maguire

So, its a romance and football movie all in one! What more could a lesbian ask for? Well, besides it being two women... Someone pass along the idea of a sequel of sorts. Jenny Maguire - His estranged sister!

Aimee and Jaguar

Alright so, a movie involving a Jewish lesbian living in Germany during World War II can't really end happily... But its a very touching movie. Also some steamy love scenes... I mean, if you're into that kind of thing and all.

Love Actually

Hugh Grant again. I'm sensing some patterns... Oh, but don't forget Keira Knightley and Emma Thompson!

Honorable mentions: Robin Hood Prince of Thieves (Yes, I know its cheesy), Superman Returns ("I'd forgotten how warm you are" - That line kills me everytime), Breakfast at Tiffany's, Far and Away (cheesy, but Nicole Kidman is so hot in it), You've Got Mail and When Harry Met Sally.

Oh, and one more bit of ex commentary. I'm really not a slut! Another could not stand 'chick flicks'. This relationship did not go very far. Heh. But in all seriousness, I cannot understand how one could be completely opposed to them. They're just so sweet!

Oops, did I hit you...?

2007-02-10T17:03:00.001-05:00

I saw this video on CNN and was easily able to find a copy on YouTube. This is insane. A guy going ape shit on a 75 year old reporter in Toronto.
Eesh. Everyone was really nice when I was in Toronto...
I would advise avoiding this fellow.

Frustrating

2007-02-07T20:41:00.001-05:00

I have to admit, I laughed that now infamous Snickers commercial, but when I got to the ending I was disconcerted. I don't want to spend a lot of time talking about it though - I don't think it all is really a big deal. Mostly I was put off by the NFL player reactions, especially the Bears, I am sad to say; while they watched the three clips which were made. You can find them on YouTube if you want to watch.

In that YouTube search, I found this old Snickers commercial. See, now this was funny - For a commercial and all.

[sighs] I'm really thinking I am going to have to get rid of my cat, Guy. He and Xena were getting along fine it seemed. Tonight, I'm sitting here at my computer, the two cats sleeping on the bed. All of the sudden I heard Xena crying, well I guess screaming. Guy was wrapped around her, kicking and I think biting. The first time I yelled he didn't stop and kept on. When I stood up and yelled again he stopped and ran - Because he knows he gets in trouble when he bothers her.

I don't know whether he was trying to hurt her or what. He had to have crept up on her in her sleep because she was still in the same spot on the bed she was before. She was scared afterwards and crept around the room timidly.

Dammit. I've had this cat for almost a year and he's never done this before - Not like this.

Bears and Lez Girls

2007-02-05T20:02:00.000-05:00

Well, at this time yesterday I was blissfully enjoying a great Super Bowl. The Bears were ahead, they looked hot, Devin Hester was the man and Rex Grossman threw a touchdown pass. Soon a cold, hard reality sank in and the game turned out dreadfully. This may not go down as one of the worst Super Bowls because of Hester's magnificent kickoff return. Small favors.

I feel like I've been talking about the game all day because, well, I have. The game had just ended when my phone rang and I hear, "Rex Grossman sucks!". I'm walking into work and a woman who works in the building asks, "What happened, Chicago?" -She calls me 'Chicago'. I think it's one of my favorite nicknames.

This is how the day went. Insult to injury - My NFC Champion Chicago Bears hat arrived today. Its a nice hat though.

So, I'm pretty disappointed and disgusted by the whole game.

The L Word episode "Lez Girls" aired last night and I found myself really enjoying it. The scene between Bette and Jodi was hot! But seriously, did they need to have a blunt? Are the L Word girls too good for a plain old joint? That struck me so funny.

Alice, of course, was great in this episode. Jenny - I'm holding on to you by my nails. I do not like how her character has developed thus far this season.
I felt kinda bad for Max.
I'm hoping Angus will be out of the picture soon.
I liked the dialog between Bette and Tina in this episode -- But I'm with Tina that Kit should be told. Now, explain to me why Bette is against telling Kit, but when she found out Jenny was cheating on Tim she felt the need to tell him? Is this because Kit is her sister? More inconsistencies in her character? With the L Word, who knows.

Let me just also say that I hated that teacher's aid and storyline who Bette slept with. I hated that character and I resent the fact the writers felt it would be perfectly within Bette's character to sleep with a student/TA. Is it just me or does that not fit with the Bette we know -- She wouldn't do something so unethical.

I hope there's no more scenes with Tina at some 'heterosexual gathering'. We get it. We're different. Apparently so much that we cannot co-mingle. The dumbest part of it all - The 'lesbian contingent' apparently knew of no actresses who were not lesbians.

Ready for the Colts

2007-02-04T01:57:00.000-05:00

Judging from the lack of comments, it looks like everyone agrees with my stance on Gay Marriage. That was too easy.

I'm not in the mood to talk about gay stuff tonight, I just felt the need to point the lack of comment out. So...

Every September I say, "The Bears are going to the Super Bowl this year" - only half meaning it, I realize now. I've been a fan for so long, this moment is simply surreal. In1986, the last appearance of the Bears in the Super Bowl, I was 9 years old; a huge Bear fan - My mom never cared for football, but she always watched when dad was 'doing' the games. People in the Midwest use the word 'doing' a lot, fyi. It's a Midwest thing, not a New York thing like Joey Tribbiani would lead you to believe.

It is so funny to assert that sports were an integrated part of my life from a very early age; yet no one in my family was a big sports fan. You see, we were just a fan of my dad. So many Thanksgivings and Christmas holidays were spent without him there, but we had only to turn on NBC to see him. Or well, atleast his name in the credits.

[smiles] It was different on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Those times, there would most often be clips from the crew wishing viewers a happy holiday. So really, he was there with us. Who doesn't like be seeing on TV? It was something that everyone anticipated. A Christmas bonus.

Talking to him the other day, he joked about how 'they' might pull him out of retirement to cover the second Bears Super Bowl. Tickled me to hear him boast about his job and also made me a bit sad because I know he misses it. He won an Emmy Award for Outstanding Achievement in Sound (I don't think that is the exact title) for Super Bowl XX. Bears vs Patriots. He tries not to let on, but I know how proud he is of it.

Enough nostalgia.
Da Bears 108 Colts 10.

Thoughts on Same-Sex Marriage

2007-02-01T23:03:00.000-05:00

It seems I have had Gay Politics on my mind lately. I love a good debate and there have been some interesting ones on AfterEllen as of late. I think I need to just get it all out of my system. I won't barrage you with all of them at once, so lets start big.

Why Massachusetts legalizing Gay Marriage hurt the gay rights movement

When the Massachusetts Supreme Court declared same-sex couples had the right to marry, Conservatives immediately proposed a amendment to the Constitution be written, declaring marriage to be between a man and woman. Same-sex marriage was legalized a few months later and San Francisco started issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Bush voiced his support for the aforementioned Constitutional Amendment shortly thereafter.

I try to look at issues objectively and with some measure of logic. I feel no amendment would have been drafted if Massachusetts had not legalized gay marriage. Whether Bush wanted to address the issue at all is unknown, but this gave him little option of avoiding the issue. Conservatives were up in arms over this 'sacrilege' and feared granting us the same rights as every other citizen would harm the moral fiber of the country. We're the cloak heterosexuals use to hide their own faults and sins; obviously we're to blame for the 50% divorce rate in this country.

Obviously I am in favor of legalizing Gay Marriage, but I'm more in favor of passing Federal Hate Crimes Legislation. We're focusing too much our attention on Gay Marriage and letting a hugely important issue like that go unspoken. Does anyone really believe we will be able to legally marry before gay bashing becomes a Federal Hate Crime? The same thing will eventually happen again that happened to Matthew Shepard - Only then we'll revisit Hate Crimes legislation. Sad, really.

It will take years to undo the damage this has caused. Individual states will continue to ban gay marriage while the US Supreme Court refuses to address the issue. Some states still have sodomy laws. Hell, Alabama de-criminalized interracial marriage only about 5 years ago. We're still pretty early in the Gay Rights movement - Too early to push the issue of Gay Marriage in my opinion.

Fun fact: The first same-sex divorces began two months after Massachusetts legalized Gay Marriage. Way to show them we're serious about this marriage thing!

If You Read This Blog, You Will Have Good Luck

2007-01-27T23:16:00.000-05:00

I have some odd habits and odd quirks. I feel I can justify how superstitious I am by simply questioning why take the risk whether or not its true? Not that I get questioned on it often. Its a fun discussion; its difficult to incorporate history into everyday conversation so I leap at every chance I get. That is yet another thing I love about my job, the environment and people.

Is it just me or do others also realize, later in life, that they've had a habit that they never realized? For instance, I've realized that I tend to go out of my way to avoid walking under something. I'm not obsessive like Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets, I don't cross a street to avoid walking under an awning. Also, that I always sleep nearest to the door in a hotel. That's not so neurotic. I mean, if someone broke in I would obviously have less distance to run if I were closer to the door. I don't care for that running thing much.

And then there's the dreaded squeak. My ex pointed this out years ago and I had never noticed before. Now I notice it every time. Bitch. So, I have two laughs really. One, a loud normal-type of laugh; two, the prepubescent school girl giggle. Lucky for me, I also do this little squeak in my throat when I giggle, I guess. Worse, if I am doing something sneaky - Like scaring people because its fun - I'll likely squeak and give myself away. Its retarded. Atleast I don't say hambuger every time I giggle, I guess.

Anyway, that long, unnecessary introduction aside, my habit of reading Xena Fanfiction has returned. This phenomena happens approximately once every year and lasts about two weeks. Sadly, much of the good fanfiction sites are disappearing and much fanfiction you find now is poor; its really great when you find the good stories which you are only happy to read again. The story links I am including below are great also for those unfamiliar with Xena and Gabrielle, they do not follow the television timeline. I love my 'Xena the Conqueror' fanfiction.

What's not to love in a story where a simple woman turns a battle-scared tyrant's world upside down; force her to face her emotional demons and teach her to love and be loved.
Er. ...Well, that was kind of sappy. I'm not one of those Xena fanatics, really. God, I am such a lez.

There's disclaimers on the stories if there's sexual content. So, yeah, they all have disclaimers.

Shadows of the Soul by Merwolf
The writers of the first two here are better writers then the ones which follow. This is my favorite of the Conqueror stories. The story archs are believable and the development of their personalities and relationship is well-written.

Penance by Penumbra
A fairly quick read, this is part of a triology.

Conquered by Leslie Ann Miller
This one is a more difficult read for the big Gabrielle fans. Oh, and Alexander is a puss. His character is entirely unbelievable. The dialog between Xena and Gabrielle is why I enjoy this one.

The Edge of Nowhere by Annemaart
This one is a good Gabrielle story. Some of Xena's dialog and/or reactions are a bit unbelievable, but overall this is a good story.

My Lord by Mayt
Its cute, but so sweet it might give you a cavity.

Lezberado: My L Word

2007-01-26T14:51:00.001-05:00

Found this clip on YouTube and it had me laughing. Its opinions/commentary on the beginning of the 4th season of the L word.
As the host is a lesbian, of course a cat has a re-occuring apperance in the video. Cute cat.

'Lezberado' though? Yeah, that part is not so cute. That handle screams 'WTF', IMO.

Truthiness

2007-01-25T22:55:00.001-05:00

Steven Colbert interviewing Anderson Cooper. Two of my favorite men.

Oh no she didn't!

2007-01-25T22:40:00.001-05:00

I think Rosie is just downright mean now. When did she become an expert on how to air the news?

"Don't take your eye off the ball?"

So, let me get this straight, the average American will become distracted from the war in Iraq if there is something other then, the war in Iraq, in the news? How condescending.

Your Soundtrack

2007-01-23T01:24:00.000-05:00

I found this game on Ham and Cheese on Wry and thought it was pretty spiffy!

'If your life was a movie, what would the soundtrack be?'

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every event, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool…

Cracked me up and kinda weirded me out too.

Rhythm of the Night is perfect though, I was always rollerskating to it.

Opening Credits: Rhythm of the Night - El Debarge

Waking Up: Army of Me - Bjork

First Day At School: When You Wish Upon A Star - Linda Ronstadt

Falling In Love: Adiemus - Enya

Fight Song: Idhu Oru Ponmalai Pozuthu (Don't ask)

Breaking Up: This War Is Over - Melissa Etheridge (WTF)

Prom: Telling Stories - Tracy Chapman (LOL, I would be telling stories since I didn't go)

Life: Foolish Games - Jewel (ouch!)

Mental Breakdown: Dreams (In Gaelic) - The Cranberries

Driving: Good Bye - Linda Ronstadt (Can I get a redo?)

Flashback: The Crunge - Led Zeppelin

Getting Back Together: Emotions - Mariah Carrey

Wedding: We Can Be Heroes - Wallflowers

Birth of Child: Security - Joss Stone (Awww...)

Final Battle: Hold On - Sarah McLachlan (Er...)

Death Scene: Runaway Lover - Madonna (I'm not dead yet, bitch!)

Funeral Song: I Am Yours - Tracy Chapman

End Credits: Susie Q - Creedence Clearwater Revival

Respond with your results, oh three great readers of mine!

What Am I Smokin?

2007-01-22T23:21:00.000-05:00

How surreal. The Bears going to the Super Bowl. I've said they'll go to the Super Bowl every year for what feels like my entire life. Really, I am dumbstruck. The weather did not cooperate for me that day though. First snow of the year and I have to drive through it with the roads being unplowed. Oh, and lets not forget I've not driven a real-wheel drive car in the snow in years -- If ever. I've never seen so many accidents right after another. It took an hour for me to go 20 miles. The skidding wasn't too bad, but its one of those things, in that, if it happens once you're startled and you'll be on edge the rest of the drive.

Anyway, that was interesting, huh? WTF Bears Super Bowl?!

I've been sucked into reading a new blog tonight Ham and Cheese on Wry. Witty, random and hilarious. This made me realize, my blog is not very hilarious. This then made me sad. A single tear ran silently down my cheek. Cause I'm emo and shit.

So, I sat here and thought to myself. I should post something funny. And it should be a good story. Well, something that happened two weeks ago immediately came to mind. Its funny, but embarrassing and confusing because I don't know what the fuck was wrong with me.

I'm the Assistant Producer on my project now. It sounds all high up and stuff, but its really not, its just a whole lot of spreadsheets and other computer program stuff with a fancy title. It was my first day back from nearly two weeks of vacation, and I started training with two coworkers. About an hour had passed of looking at spreadsheets and code and I was hurting. I knew I would not be retaining much of the information because it was overload and it was filtering out at that point.

We come close to the moment of horror. I have no explanation. I have no understanding at all of what is about to transpire. You've heard of people having visions, right? Hm, or how about being possessed? I've narrowed this down to a few possibilities.

1. I share part of my brain with someone with the IQ of 2.
2. I have an exceedingly rare form of Tourette's Syndrome which manifests at age 30 and will likely lead to Brain Cancer.
3. I was momentarily possessed by Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
4. I'm retarded.

Two o'clock in the afternoon, training with two guys I had never spoken to before who had been with the company a long time.

"So Bainshee, you'll take the file and move it to this folder and then open this program and import the file so that you can..."

"Hamburger."

For some reason known only to God, my brain decided right at that moment that I must say 'hamburger'. That's right, in the middle of training I interrupt and say 'hamburger' for no earthly fucking reason. They both just stopped and stared at me. What could I say?! Why the hell did I say that?! I must have looked completely dismantled being thoroughly confused and aghast. Then we went on with training. Of course, the entire time I'm trying to figure why the hell I just said 'hamburger'.

I wasn't hungry. I scanned the computer screen and found no word remotely similar to 'ham' or 'burger' in the spreadsheets. There was no evidence of a hamburger in the room.

I crack up about it now. Thank God I am not as easily embarrassed as I was when I was younger. It was still horrifying in a retarded, 'WTF is wrong with me' way! I mean, what if the word of my desire was not 'hamburger' but something much more horrifying?

And what if...it happens again.

I may need to be admitted. This also makes me sad.

Evolution of Dance

2007-01-21T04:08:00.001-05:00

Still one of the best videos on the Internet.

A different kind of fight on YouTube...

2007-01-20T15:49:00.001-05:00

No teenage girls fighting in this YouTube contribution. Rabbit vs Snake. It's not what you're thinking though...

What the Faux!

2007-01-17T20:40:00.000-05:00

So, Sean Combs; P. Diddy yo, has a new clothing line I guess. Or maybe its not new, maybe they were just sold out when I last shopped at Macy's. Oh snap.

Apparently this jacket of his was labeled 'faux fur', however it was made of fur and that's a violation of Federal Law. Oops? Not only that, no...It's the fur of some kinda 'Raccoon Dog' native to China. WTF.

Is there something I'm missing here? I mean, is that a Raccoon or a Raccoon Dog? Maybe I fooled you and that's really just a Raccoon.

They do look the same, but that's really not my point, however I've found this fact amuses me. I don't know that I really have a point honestly. I mean, WHY and HOW do you mis-label something 'faux fur' when its not? WORSE, now its made of dog fur? If a Raccoon Dog is even part of the dog family (Remember, don't believe everything you've read on the Internet).

I'm not a proponent of fur coats. I'd never own one and I tend to scowl at those I see wearing them. Why people find them elegant is a mystery to me.

I bet some poor woman will sue P Diddy because she would normally never wear fur and now owning one of his has deeply troubled her to the sum of $10million dollars. Cause you know, those of us who are against fur really want to wear an imitation of something we so loathe.

Watch though, bet his company gets sued for that reason.

Changing of the Guard

2007-01-05T00:53:00.000-05:00

Officially the Democrats have officially taken over control of Congress. Wheee! Let's see how they do. I expect the Minimum Wage debate to start in Ernest. I'm not entirely in favor of the increase, but that's another entry.
However, there are still 10 bills which have either failed to reach the floor or pass, that are Pro-Gay Rights.
Here's what they are:

Employment Non-Discrimination Act: Banning private sector employment discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity.

Local Law Enforcement Enhancement Act: Federal government authority to prosecute hate crimes based on a victim's sexual orientation, gender identity or disability.

Military Readiness Enhancement Act: Repealing the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, allows gays, lesbians and bisexuals to serve openly.

John Shalikashvili, a proponent of the policy, recently voiced his belief that the military is "ready" to allow gays and lesbians to serve openly. I see this act having some potential as atleast being reviewed again.

Uniting American Families Act: Amending the US Immigration and Nationality Act to allow foreign nations who are same-sex domestic partners of US citizens to apply for the same immigration rights offered to foreign nationals who legally marry US citizens.

Its a pretty safe bet that this isn't going to happen. Silly bill, waste of taxpayer dollars. The government does not recognize domestic partnerships among American citizens - Why would they recognize foreign nationals?

Domestic Partner Health Benefits Equity Act/Tax Equity of Health Plan Beneficiaries Act: Amending the Internal Revenue Code to end taxation of health insurance benefits for domestic partners. Currently, gay and lesbian employees must pay taxes on similar benefits as if they were ordinary income.

Domestic Partners Benefit and Obligations Act: Define domestic partnerships to provide health insurance and other benefits to same-sex and opposite-sex domestic partners of federal government employees.

Clarification of Federal Employment Protections Act: Declares: "Federal employees are protected from discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation".

Family Medical Leave Inclusion Act: Calls for amending the Family & Medical Leave Act of 1993 to allow government and private sector employees to take leave to care for a domestic partner who has a serious health condition. Also would allow medical leave for the care of a same-sex married partner or the parent-in-law, adult child, sibling or grandparent of a same-sex partner who has a serious health condition.

Responsible Education About Life Act: Calls for creating a $206 million federal grant program to award funds to states for comprehensive sexuality education that is not linked to advocacy of abstinence-only-until-marriage. Supporters say the bill is needed because existing sexuality education programs funded by the federal government are linked to abstinence-only policies.

...I'm torn on this bill.

Early Treatment for HIV Act: Calls for allowing low-income, childless adults with HIV to become eligible for Medicaid coverage before they develop full-blown AIDS. Under current law, people who meet the income requirements for Medicaid are ineligible for the federal health program if they have HIV but are not "disabled" by having AIDS.

Miss Me?

2007-01-03T01:27:00.000-05:00

Wewt! I'm home!

The holidays were lazy and delicious. Sadly, they could have been even more delicious had I dined on Honeybaked Ham. "Honey-glazed" hams aren't the same thing. On New Years Eve we had fondue - Which we haven't done in probably 15 years. Then I watched the Bears lose to the feckin Green Bay Packers. Then fireworks in the driveway. :)

The kids thought the Hibachi restaurant we went to last night was the neatest thing. All concurred eel wasn't bad at all. Mom was first surprised at the amount of food you are given, but gradually she began looking annoyed as more things were piled on her plate (rice, noodles, veggies). Hehe.

Driving wasn't bad at all. About 11 hours each way. The miles flew by though because I purchased A Game of Thrones audiobook for my iPod. I've heard so much praise over this series - I really shouldn't have waited. This book is awesome. I'm halfway through the 32 total hours and I'm already planning on buying the other three books in the series. George R.R. Martin has great skill with words and individual character development in a world which has so much underlying strife. I say, even if you are not a huge fan of the fantasy genre, give this one a try.

Enough with all of that stuff, I've got some nags.

Whats up with this OurChart I've been hearing about?
Am I the only one who finds it interesting that: 1. AfterEllen forums are also down? 2. Sarah Warn posted sometime ago about changing the site's name?
An interesting coincidence?

In other news...
Pat Robertson claims God spoke to him and there will be a "mass killing" in late 2007. A scary notion indeed, but apparently he hasn't been very accurate with other predictions and visits from God.

On moms.
If I had a dollar for everytime my mom has ever said:
"Its good to wear around the house..."

On drivers who suck.
Really no complaints from my trip except the idiot blocking traffic for 20 miles by not passing a truck. But I say, beware wreckless and rude drivers, your plate may be listed on PlateWire! Oh noes!

On the Internet.
I could never live with dial-up again; I'd rather have no Internet access to stave the aggravation.

Happy Holidays!

2006-12-23T01:22:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry to say that I will not be as diligent as I let on in covering Dorothy's absence. I'm on vacation! Celebrity gossip will not be on the table unless there's an OJ trial part II in which my mom watches 24/7 like she did the first.

I'm off for home! I hope you were good this year, Santa may just bring you that Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure you've been wishing for!

Blogger.com did add a nifty phone blogging feature, so I may just have some fun with that.

Please do have a safe and happy holiday everyone!

300 Revisited

2006-12-22T21:21:00.001-05:00

Here is the second teaser trailer for 300. Is it March yet?

Meow

2006-12-22T16:10:00.000-05:00

In honor of the randomness of my blog entries, I am going to go full circle and talk about what every lesbian talks about. Cats!

As of now I have no plans of getting another, but I've been considering it for awhile. Guy has gotten better with not bothering Xena, but he still does on occasion. It was the same way with Peach and Friskey until I got Xena. So along with the fact I just would like a kitten, it might be good for both cats here.

There are a few breeds of cats I have always loved. If I do get another cat, and I choose a purebreed, it will be one of the following:

Abyssinian

One of the oldest breeds of cats and said to be among the most intelligent.

I love the big ears and the markings on this one are just phenominal.

Devon Rex

Again, the big ears. Not a hairless cat, but one with soft curly fur. Goodness, this one is just so adorable.

Sphynx

Alright, get it out now. "Eww, it looks like a rat, ewww!"
--I happen to think they are adorable.

While I love them, I doubt they are an option because they're extremely rare and expensive. Poo.

But look at those big ears!

Yep, so its down to those three breeds. The Devon Rex is winning at this point.

Anyway, how exciting this blog entry was!

And as always, please think of the kittens.

Crème de la Crème

2006-12-21T23:12:00.000-05:00

Miss Dorothy has clicked her ruby slippers together thrice, perhaps twice because she has mad skills; and returned home for the holidays. This leaves us with a delimma. Where will we turn for all of our celebrity gossip? How can I know if my hair is on the edge of lesbian fashion? Will we have to discover our very own weekend crushes instead of finding them at the click of a URL? Who shot JR? Oh noes! What ever shall we do?!

Fear not my friends! It is I, Bainshee, your knight in shining armor who comes to your aid! I will don my drakescale, heft my damascus dragonlance, mount my dependable destrier, and diligently dish and disclose the dewy denigrate drivel displayed defiantly by our distinguished denizens; without diminishing dear Dorothy's discerning and dedicated dissection of their derelict displays of direct indecency.

Aw shit, who am I kidding, I just want to talk about Rosie.

So, below you will find a video of CNN's Anderson Cooper at a loss for words over the latest installment in the Donald Trump vs Rosie O'Donnell feud. Well, I had no idea they had some kind of feud going...But am I the only lesbian who thinks Anderson Cooper is pretty hot?

Er.

Anyway, I really don't get Rosie at all. I'm not a fan; I admit I laughed while at the Tower Records that was going out of business yesterday - 70% - 95% off everything in the store with only 3 days left - and here's a plethora of All Aboard! Rosie's Family Cruise among the few unsold DVDs. Maybe it was just the DVD cover I was laughing at though.

On The View, Rosie stated Trump filed bankruptcy a number of times, Trump says he never did and may sue Rosie for saying so because it would be "fun". Where exactly are you getting this information from, Rosie? The Internets? You do use the Internets too, right? You confuse fiscal estimates that he is bankrupt, and some of his business ventures going bankrupt, with his claiming personal bankruptcy.

You may feel I am being overly harsh on Rosie, but consider her position and what she said. This reeks of the Tom Selleck/Rosie NRA Debate - Another example of Rosie having a strong opinion and no facts to back up her stance. Please do not get me wrong, I very much appreciate a woman with a strong opinion and I do support gun control. However, opinions without statistics and factual evidence in a National forum, coming from a celebrity, annoy me greatly. Rosie has never, to me, come across as someone who is necessarily willing to listen to reason. She has her stance. Period.

Donald Trump's remarks were crass and insensitive. Trust me, I'm not a fan. The video I blogged does not include a remark where he questioned her moral character just so far as to omit mention her sexuality. His intention was obvious though.

Rosie is a wealthy comedian, Trump is a wealthy powerful man. Each have these things which they can fall back on in the backlash which is sure to follow. Really, I wonder if this entire "feud" is a publicity stunt -- But then, Trump's remarks on Rosie's character, image and stature lead me to believe he is no more then a bully.

The diadem sought to decorate the doyen of this discord will be met with despondent ambivalence.

For Shame, Cheney, For Shame

2006-12-21T00:37:00.000-05:00

Donald Rumsfeld retired last week as Secretary of Defense. A move which should have come two years ago. As with the War in Afghanistan, the War in Iraq has become a post-invasion nightmare for the United States, the citizens of those countries, and the world itself. But this blog entry is not to critize Rumsfeld, but rather, Vice President Dick Cheney's recent comment at Rumsfeld's resignation Lollapalooza.

"Donald Rumsfeld the best Secretary of Defense the United States ever had."

Excuse me, Mr Vice President, but are you on crack?

Not only is his notion ludicrous, it is slap in the face to the United States. Does Mr. Cheney know anything of the history of this nation?

Forgive me though, I'm just a history enthusiast and not a politician. I mean, certainly Mr. Cheney is more qualified to explain why Donald Rumsfeld was a better Secretary of State then, say, George Marshall. I mean, what good did the Marshall Plan do anyway? Nobel Peace Prizes are overrated, I hear.

Rumsfeld and Caspar Weinberger are running neck and neck for the worst Secretaries of State in history. Though, if not for Weinberger, we'd never be in Iraq now in the first place.

Dick Cheney, I gained a small amount of respect for you when you disagreed, albeit not very vocally, with President Bush over the Defense of Marriage Act, but that is now lost. How incredulous and insulting to our country to call Rumsfeld the best Secretary of State we've had.

Shame on you for shaming the country like that.

A Lesson In History

2006-12-20T01:22:00.000-05:00

I think years have become less exciting. What really do we have to look forward to? Alright, besides 2008. But really, it is a sad state of affairs when one can find nothing else to look forward to but the replacement of a current President.

In the previous Century we had the 21st Century to look forward to. Why? New beginnings? A new era? To party like its 1999?

The 20th Century saw the United States rise as a world leader.

World War I began with the assassination of Austrian heir Archduke Franz Ferdinand by a group of extremists wishing independence from Austria-Hungry. The United States, while an ally (to the allies), held to it's isolationist policies and refrained from entering the war, we were forced to enter the war when Germany attempted to coax Mexico into allying with them.

World War II. Germany's invasion of Poland. The United States remained, militarily, ambivalent until the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. (Let me also add here that the United States President knew of the oppression of German, Polish and Austrian Jews under the Nazi regime and refused to assist due to "immigration concerns".)
(If you are interested in the specifics there, I highly recommend researching the "Kindertransport".)
The United States dominance in the war is pretty apparent, so I will not ramble on here.

The world lost roughly 15 million people in World War I.
In World War II that figure jumped to an estimated 62 million.

Next time you are at happy hour, ask your drinking buddies; "If you could stop one event in history, what would it be?"
--Most will say the Holocaust.

There are so very many events and periods throughout history which could have prevented the Holocaust; so many precede the first World War. However, too many focus on the event itself rather then look to the root cause.

So, at the beginning of this new period in history; what are the top news stories of the 21st Century?

War has taken on a new image. While assassinations and guerrilla warfare have always held their place in history, this has become the unabridged definition of 21st Century warfare.

So instead of adopting our defensive and isolationist roots we begin a war against a fallacious enemy, in which we have no chance of winning...

What will history write of us in 100 years?

Camelot? That's a silly place.

2006-12-18T13:53:00.001-05:00

One of the best Dark Age of Camelot videos I've seen!

Apocalypto Re-cut

2006-12-12T11:54:00.001-05:00

Fad rhymes with bad - Coincidence?

2006-12-07T23:09:00.000-05:00

Celebrity gossip and fads are never things which have really interested me. However, a recent apparently growing trend, I simply find entirely absurd. Mostly I'd seen the likes of Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan jumping on this bandwagon - But this evening, my little place of the world was rocked when I was forced to face this fad in the mall.

I'm talking about... The hideous, monsterous clown-like sunglass fad.

Seriously, does anyone reading think this looks good? Okay, forget the fact it's Paris Hilton wearing an outfit which the Salvation Army would reject.

At the mall, the sunglass store had pictures of women wearing sunglasses larger then their face. Seriously, WTF is with this? Thankfully I have not seen any women walking around wearing them - I'd certainly ask them why they were wearing them.

Paris, Lindsey - This is not the 1960's and you're not Audrey Hepburn.

P.S. Please burn that horrendous dress Paris.
Love, Bainshee.

Wheeee! Oh, I mean Wii!

2006-12-07T13:10:00.001-05:00

Oh am I tired. I did manage to find something nice to wear to the holiday party tomorrow. Of course, it screams, "I'm a lesbian!" Yes, it's a flannel suit!
...No, not really.
Actually, quite a nice dress suit. I am branching out from my usual earth tones/black attire and purchased a fancy red thing to wear under the jacket. Obviously I do not know the correct terminology. Oh, and the jacket and pants are black anyway.

I meant to add a note to this clip earlier, but forgot. Work was so hectic for me. But here's someone who should never play video games.

I Have The Power!

2006-12-06T20:27:00.001-05:00

What a busy day. Tomorrow will probably be worse. My new position at work is very empowering. Not in that I have so much power, but that it has given me such a confidence boost. Definitely a step in the right direction and a huge career move.

Still undecided on the company holiday party. Hmm, it's Friday so I suppose I should decide soon. My stuff should still fit me I think. My glasses came in today too so I should take advantage of the "excuse to dress up, smart-looking (thanks to glasses!) power lesbian" alter ego. Whether I can get a salon appointment on Friday though...

[sighs] And add to my day AfterEllen drama. Bleh. The spam posts are an annoyance, but the stupid "blah blah bad moderator" stuff is even more annoying. I don't even enjoy moderating, I'm only doing so because Sarah seems so far removed from the forums now and there are few active moderators. Of course, understandable for all.

That's about the last thing I want to write about now though. In fact, I have no idea why I bothered to respond to the drama, it certainly won't do one lick of good.

Oh! The house next to my mother's is for sale and she mentioned it to my dad! I'm going to keep pressuring him to buy it, but I don't know how good the odds are that he would move there. I'm growing increasingly worried about him. Over the weekend, with the big snow in Illinois, he slipped outside and had to go to the hospital with a concussion. He's alright, but that's certainly cause for worry - I very much dislike being so far away and that he lives alone.

I came across a website earlier with the 50 greatest commercials from the 80's. Most of them I was doing fine with never seeing again, but the one I am embedding below made my face light up. Oh, how I loved my Masters of the Univerise power wheels!

To think, I had once mastered the universe...

No air in my eye, plz!

2006-11-30T23:21:00.001-05:00

I hate shopping. I've gone out twice to the mall now, once on Black Friday at 6:00 AM and then tonight. The sad thing is, I still have not purchased anything for anyone else!

I come home and all I want to do is lie on the couch, watch football & ER, then fall asleep. Lucky me, my roommate has been on some kinda "watch all of Family Guy season 1" kick. While it is my television, I am not going to be such a bitch as to come home and demand the TV. [sighs]

So let's see, tonight I first had an appointment at the optometrist to get my eyes checked and finally get a new set of glasses. Michelle and I had plenty of time to choose my frames, as it took friggin forever. First there was some kind of problem with my insurance. I dunno if something changed and we were not notified or what, but my plan should have paid for the exam, lenses and $100 toward the frames. According to the insurance company, I had a $40 co-pay (cost of exam) and then 20% off frames and lenses. WTF. In the end I opted to pay the damn $360.00 out of pocket and deal with the insurance company myself. Bleh.

Top it off with I have to wait 10 days for the glasses because I have astigmatism in my left eye and they couldn't do the lenses there. [sighs] I was hoping to have them before the company holiday party on the 8th. Guess that's not going to happen. Poo.

Oh yeah, and they want me to come back to do another pressure test for Glaucoma. I went to the optometrist instead of opthamologist to avoid just that! "No, I'm sorry, I cannot help but jump when you shoot air into my eyes."

"Do I want contacts? Do you really think I could put those things in my eyes when I cannot even stand eye drops and air?" (I didn't really say that)
I truly am an eye doctor's worst nightmare though.

If I go to the party, that is. I really dislike shopping for clothes since it is so hard for me to find things that fit. Petite sizes? Funny how I've never purchased a petite anything I did not have to hem or have altered. And I really suck at hemming. Lesbians do not hem.

Michelle got a really nice gown that looked very good on her. Why can't it be so easy for me? Gowns are pretty much out of the question for me unless I have them special made. I've gained too much weight in the last year to wear one anyway. Ah, and last year at this time I was wearing a size 2. So sad.

I start the intensive training tomorrow for my additional responsibilities and then the whole team leaves at 2:00 to go bowling. It should be fun, but I cannot bowl to save my life. I do like it though. Well, except the getting shoes part. And I just know I'll have snickers at the giant "2" on the back of the shoes. Even better, maybe I'll get some cute girls ones that are pink with My Little Pony on them. Hehe.

He's still watching Family Guy. This is why I am rambling.

Oh! I found a perfume I really liked today that I ended up buying. No, not Paris Hilton's. Bleh, the smell of slut.
Guerlain: Insolence
The name is so fitting too!
Best thing was Michelle looking at me strangely after I explained what I bought. "Incest perfume?"
Hah!

Oooo, he's gone to bed! I know this post has been so riveting, but alas, all good things must come to an end.

I leave you with an obvious and oversight made in the casting of Casino Royale. Daniel Craig? Oh no, he's got nothing on a true "Secret Agent Man".

Tangents and Rambles

2006-11-30T00:58:00.000-05:00

So much time, so little to say. Strike that. Reverse.

I'm the type who always prefers the bad news first, then the good. It seems most logical to me.

My dad has a friend, who died a very sad death over Thanksgiving weekend. She was an elderly woman (age 87), who he did not realize had opted to stay home alone without her caretaker over the holiday. For an unknown reason she decided to drive (which, according to my dad, she did not do) and went missing for a day. Her car, and body, were found near Starved Rock, in the river. I did not know her, but Starved Rock is one of my favorite places and I know I will be reminded of her when next I visit there.

My dad was to be a pallbearer - which he seemed very surprised at. Unfortunately, he was not feeling well yesterday so he was unable to attend. I know he truly had been sick the last few days, but I also know he was worried he might stumble or fall. I'm not sure which played more of a role in his absence.

It makes me so sad that so many personal experiences and stories will go untold and unheralded with the passing of our elder generation. Historians, myself included, spend so much time analyzing history without the passion of the human experience, that we forget we have access to what we seek in what no longer exists.

Well, I won't lie, that depressed me. I'm not so big now on moving forward to the good news. Maybe bad news before good is not so logical in every case. One can not truly follow news of loss with good news, but it can strengthen us, right?

It seems I've somehow earned myself a pretty significant promotion. I'm baffled, honestly. For the time being I will be balancing a developer and producer position; the way I choose to go in the future will be up to me.

I really am pretty excited -- Really.

Wednesday: A rueful day indeed

2006-11-28T00:27:00.000-05:00

We've known for some time that our department would be moving to the 2nd floor - Today I learned just how horrific this move will be for me. I dearly hope I am exaggerating the situation; I mean, there are those who are moving from offices to cubes. That's got to suck. I'm just going from one cube to another, albeit, in an area completely separate from my team. A minor annoyance.

Anyone who is anyone reads my blog (of course!), but for those of you who are unfamiliar with Chompy McApples, you are welcome to amuse yourself with the story.

So, take a wild guess at who will be sitting across from me.

Huzzah for Wednesday!

[sighs]

We Hates It

2006-11-14T16:16:00.000-05:00

It...Hurts...

And I don't know how to make it stop.

If you are lucky, you are unfamiliar with a semi-new commercial with a horrible song that is making my brain explode and my IQ decrease. Unfortunately for me, this song is played numerous times during NFL games and it will not get the fuck out of my head.

It consists of various images of Americans and things that have happened in recent history - Yay. While the exploiting of recent tragic events such as 9/11, Katrina and the War in Iraq for the purpose of selling a truck is deplorable; its that fucking John Melloncamp song "Our Country" that annoys the shit out of me.

First, its a retarded song. Secondly, it drives me batty that he can't seem to use English correctly and say "this is OUR country". No, it's "this is ARE country." So it's those four damn words which have been going around and around in my head for the last two hours. I understand artists take liberty with word pronunciations and usage in their music, but if you're going to make a song about America, use proper damn English!

Needless to say, I am NOT posting a YouTube video of this commercial here. If you want to be annoyed, go for it, I'm sure its on YouTube somewhere. You won't find it here. This is are blog.

Moratorium on Santorum

2006-11-09T16:35:00.000-05:00

Oh how sweet it is. The House and Senate! I'll say this though, if Democratic control does not help the situation in Iraq and appease the American citizens on social and economic issues, it's going to be very, very bad for Democrats next election.

Santorum losing in Pennsylvania, while obvious for awhile, is such a great thing. That is why I have no qualms with poking fun at his scary, obviously oppressed freakish family.

Let me tell you a bit about Santorum, for those of you who may not be all that familiar. Actually, I think it best if he speaks for himself. Here's just a few of his quotes which tell you all you need to know about his character.

"It is startling that those in the media and academia appear most disturbed by this aberrant behavior, since they have zealously promoted moral relativism by sanctioning "private" moral matters such as alternative lifestyles. Priests, like all of us, are affected by culture. When the culture is sick, every element in it becomes infected. While it is no excuse for this scandal, it is no surprise that Boston, a seat of academic, political and cultural liberalism in America, lies at the center of the storm." --On recent molestation scandals by the Catholic Church (2002)

"In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be." --On Homosexuality (2003)

"If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything." --Griswold case where he argued against couples having the right to use birth control. (2003)

I love his 'hip' Lord of the Rings quote:
"As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else. It's being drawn to Iraq and it's not being drawn to the U.S. You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don't want the Eye to come back here to the United States." --On Iraq (2006)

Perhaps you should first understand the story before using it as ananalogyy. I vote this as best quote of 2006. Stupid as it is, it makes my bumpersticker all the more funny.

(It's really a magnet. Shh...Don't tell anyone, I'm full of 'shock and awe' it hasn't been stolen in the months I've had it.)

Due to Santorum's comments on homosexuality, he has a slang named after him. It's quite nasty.

Just incase you are not sold on his character. For something completely different..

Santorum and his wife, Karen Garver Santorum, have six children: Elizabeth Anne, Richard John Jr., Daniel James, Sarah Maria, Peter Kenneth and Patrick Francis. In 1996 their son Gabriel Michael was born prematurely and lived for only two hours a sonogram taken before Gabriel was born revealed that his posterior urethral valve was closed and that the prognosis for his survival was therefore poor). Karen Santorum wrote a book about the experience: Letters to Gabriel: The True Story of Gabriel Michael Santorum. In it, she writes that the couple brought the deceased infant home from the hospital and introduced the dead child to their living children as "your brother Gabriel" and slept with the body overnight before returning him to the hospital. The anecdote was also written about by Michael Sokolove in a 2005 New York Times magazine story on Santorum. Karen is also the author of a book on etiquette for children.

And they want to say homosexuality is perverted... That's just fucking disgusting and a horrible thing to do to their children.

2006-10-28T01:46:00.000-04:00

A fairer House than Prose

2006-10-28T01:06:00.000-04:00

I had to decline the invitation to the movies tonight. They were going to see Saw III. Why can't I have girlfriends who want to see chick flicks or something?! I don't enjoy scary movies for one. For two, the first Saw was pretty lame and not scary anyway.

So, I stayed home and worked tonight. Hah! And I discovered a problem which I will need to go in to work tomorrow to correct. Well, I don't have to, but it's my area so I prefer it worked as I intended it to for this weekend's testing.

Well, for now, how about a poem.

I dwell in Possibility--
A fairer House than Prose--
More numerous of Windows--
Superior--for Doors--

Of Chambers as the Cedars--
Impregnable of Eye--
And for an Everlasting Roof
The Gambrels of the Sky--

Of Visitors--the fairest--
For Occupation--This--
The spreading wide my narrow Hands
To gather Paradise--

-Emily Dickinson

'Door Open' - WTF Heeeelp!

2006-10-26T01:19:00.000-04:00

I was all ready to write an intriguing and intuitive post explaining the human mind tonight -- But Blogger was down for maintenance. Alas, the knowledge has now escaped me. Sadly, you will be left wanting.

So, the power went out at work today when I was in the elevator. The scenario has gone through my mind a hundred times. Doesn't it for everyone? The elevator simply stops, I happen to be the only lesbian amongst a throng of wonton curious women...

Actually, I'm a bit too old for those fantasies.

Well, fuck.

Alone. Darkness. My light - my cellphone. Illuminates the way to the 'door open' button. Nothing. Push the 'emergency' button. Oh, I have to hold it in I guess...

(Some time passes.)

(Doors open)

"Are you okay!? I heard someone scream." - Woman in the lobby.

Needless to say, I barely escaped with my life! Wasn't me who screamed though. She was on the crack, I think. That whore.

Hey, that was my excitement of the day!

OFN Arizona!

2006-10-17T00:40:00.000-04:00

OFN, for the non-internet linguists = Oh fuck no.

I'd not be able to guess how many times I said "fuck you", "shut the fuck up" and various other obscenities during that game. The commentators were horrible. Charles Barkley, I respect you, but I don't want to hear you talking during my football game, k? I almost would have preferred Madden to whoever the other two commenting the game.

6 fucking turn overs? WTF? Thank God we have a Bye week because you need to sit your ass down, Rex. And thank God we have a defense who can force turnovers - Because we certainly didn't have much pass defense this game.

We have skills - But we were lucky. I have a feeling a certain Cardinals field goal kicker will be out of a job tomorrow.

And the above brawl was just sick. First it was reported that everyone involved received 1 game suspensions. Later it was community service and some other nonsense. Now team suspensions. [drums her fingers] If you watch the entire video, listen to the commentator. What a fucking tool.

Why am I being bitchy - The Bears won! I don't fucking care if it was sloppy - It was a win. Our Defense and Special Teams shined. Okay, well, I will care if our offense looks like donkey ass next game. But I do, always, appreciate a come from behind victory!

Bainshee rants like a...banshee!

2006-10-14T03:42:00.000-04:00

Bah, I should be in bed. I just got home and I'm pretty tired. I'd much rather sleep on the couch tonight, but I'd just be woke up by the roommate in the morning. Have I mentioned lately how much I hate having a roommate?

Oh, here's something else which is annoying: Talking to someone who has a certain mannerism that an ex does. I mean mannerisms which you found endearing. In this case it was a smile - So now, everytime I talk to this person I am going to be noticing that smile. Yay.

Anyway, it's not a bad thing, it's not a good thing. It just is.

I know I post Colbert clips on here a lot, but a skit from this week I thought was just wonderful. Absolutely brilliant.

Let me just say, YouTube sucks for imbedding videos on Blogger. I can use the imbed option and possibly wait 4 days like last time - Or I can copy/paste... Oh wait, no I can't. Blogger only copies the first line of the code and has trouble pasting the other lines if I try to do it individually.

Look at the trouble I go through to keep my millions of readers informed.

I guess this is the "Bainshee is annoyed" blog entry. Here's something else! I heard on the radio the other day that there's some recall of Ford vehicles. I did not hear 2005 Mustangs listed - But apparently there is some recall because I got a card in the mail.

So I'm supposed to call this number and talk to someone. Okay, there had been a recall on my Geo in the past and they sent me a letter telling me what the problem was. This damn generic card doesn't do shit for me. And it says "FINAL NOTICE". That's nice, I guess first notice is: aka final notice.

But really, I don't have much to complain about in my life - Little nuisances aren't anything to blink at as far as I am concerned. I swear, I feel sorry for some of the women on AfterEllen who post a rant every other day. Good God, it gets quite ridiculous.

Wooot! Bears on Monday Night Football incoming!

300

2006-10-06T00:36:00.000-04:00

Oh my goodness... Frank Miller's graphic novel come to life. My favorite period in history. One of the greatest battles in history. The world would be a very different place today if those 300 Spartans did not hold the pass at Thermopylae.

However, I have to wait 5 stinking months for it! (I replaced 'fucking' with 'stinking' because I realized I was swearing a lot)

http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/300/

I advise watching the full screen version - Many times.

2006-10-05T03:00:00.000-04:00

Chicago Bears vs. Seattle Seahawks - 10/1/06 Highlights

WTF Bonnie Tyler?!

2006-09-24T23:08:00.000-04:00

http://www.1500videos.com/

So, I've been holding out on you all. I've been hoarding this website for my own personal satisfaction.
...Okay, that makes it sound as if I masturbate to 80's videos.
Damn, I kept that a secret for so long.

Come on, I know we don't have to take our clothes off for a good time. Bainshee bonus points if you can name the artist and song!

Bonnie, honey, WTF is up with your video for 'Total Eclipse of the Heart'? I mean...I love that song, but the video is retarded. I can deal with the unnecessary wind blowing through your hair, but the guys with the glowing eyes.. what's up with that?

Holy fuck John Parr! St. Elmos Fire -- Great song (movie sucked though) but even in the 80's that hair looked like ass! Oh... Yeah, Ally Sheedy...Loved you in Short Circuit baby, little did I know you'd become a heroin addicted lesbian in later movies. Damn you and the years I lost.

WTF happened to El Debarge? I loved him.
(Just thought I'd throw that in.)

Oh shit, Thriller! There's that fucking jacket I wanted so bad. Shit, I'd still wear it. Greatest video of all time.

Ofra Haza's 'Im Nin Alu' video is there as well. Such a remarkable, beautiful woman. Though, I prefer her songs in Hebrew and not English.

Sadly, Corey Hart's 'Sunglasses at Night' wasn't featured. No, my favorite 80's song apparently has no video. I can't even get 'Uptown Girl' by Billy Joel. I'll just reinforce my one talent of being able to recite his 'We Didn't Start The Fire'.

...Crap.

Colbert Invades My Blog!

2006-09-24T02:33:00.000-04:00

Ah, I love me some Colbert. Entertaining? Of course. Intuitive? I suppose that depends which side of the fence you are on.

Whistleblower to halt Iran war plans?

And just for fun.

Ow, I Got Coke In My Eye

2006-09-22T00:37:00.000-04:00

Today was a long, busy day, but it was pretty fun. Work was rather blah though. I'm to the point where I have a pretty good grasp of the basics and some advanced stuff, but there are so many levels of advanced it's unnerving. It will just take time. I do not really miss training though - That surprises me some.

So, happy things the other day - My damn cat, Mack "Guy", threw up a worm. On my afghan. That was lovely. What a great wake up. And thus, I made a vet appointment and had to leave work a few hours early. Drive home, pick up, then drive way out to where I lived with Tammy for the vet. I love my vet, the drive is just a bitch though.

Oh, and I loved it on the phone where the receptionist was like, "Yeah, can you bring that worm in?" ...Like, I didn't flush the nasty fuck down the toilet immediately.

I hadn't had him in there yet and the first thing said was, "Wow! That's a huge cat!" [grins] He weighed in at 16 1/2 pounds. Funny thing is, I heard them talking outside of the room saying that he had a tapeworm and that he was going to gain more weight once it was gone. Heh!

Afterwards, I went to Tammy's and had a nice time. He didn't get along with Hannah all that bad, but not the best either. She's such a meek dog, but she got hyper a bit and Guy did not care for the barking much. Needless to say, Guy got a good swipe on her ear. But he was very laid back unless Hannah was jumping around barking wanting to play.

I snapped this picture on my phone. It looks like he's about to take a swipe, but that wasn't the case here - That occurred a bit later.

I'm pretty pooped, but I know I won't go to bed for a bit still. It was worth it though, nice day and it was cute seeing Tammy interested in how the two would get along. We mainly just watched TV and talked a bit in between watching them.

Speaking of TV, that "Studio 60" show was pretty good. "Jericho" wasn't so bad either - I'll continue to watch both.
It's a bit depressing coming home to this place though. Such a mess. My roommate drives me insane. I've never lived with someone so filthy before. I've considered talking with him about it, but honestly I'd rather just keep as much to myself as possible and keep my door closed. I'm looking forward to moving next year though - Hopefully closer to work, but it's so much more expensive there. The prospect of living alone isn't promising and I'll likely end up with a roommate again. Bleh.

Man, my Blog entries have become pretty dull lately, but there's really not much to report. Ah well.

I'll close this tonight with my favorite Steven Colbert interview. Eleanor Holmes Norton. I very much respect the Congresswoman, but this is just so funny.

Colbert Report

LOL wait, OMG! I was just watching it again (I hadn't seen it in awhile) and I spit my Coke all over the place. People post they do that all the time, I but I swear I don't think I ever have before. Poor Xena was on my lap too. She was not too pleased. Diet Coke in one's eye burns too. :)
Haha, that was funny.

...Holy crap it's almost 1:30!

I'm Crazy..Crazy For Feelin'...

2006-09-19T00:50:00.000-04:00

I want to post about something very exciting, very important here. I'm serious. I'm a very serious person you see. I must confess, however, I have been very lax in posting here regarding something very big.

Truthfully, I would prefer to address this in a monolog from Amazon Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death, much like Mary Katherine Gallagher would do. Well, she might have chosen something like Beaches, A Star Is Born, or something more deep and insightful. Anyway, I have no aspirations to be a Super Star (I'd be a poor one, unlike the talented Mary Katherine). So, a clip courtsey of YouTube should express my genuine pleasure and childish glee.

Ah, that brought a tear to my eye. Play Misty for me, baby.

9/11

2006-09-11T19:48:00.000-04:00

A title simple as "9/11", requires no further elaboration.

As it is near time for Football to start, why am I compelled to watch CNN Pipeline's real time coverage of September 11th, 2001? I am glad that CNN is airing this, but I could not watch the later coverage again. Those hours/days after the attacks, glued to the TV praying there were survivors within the rubble.

I cannot begin to imagine how difficult it was, and still is, for those who lost loved ones. Phone lines, I imagine, were tied up across the country - I know they were in the DC area. That not only creates frustration, but false hope (for many). [sighs]

The second plane just hit the other tower and it is amazing how no one realized immediately that that is what happened. Anyone watching the coverage would see the plane.

On that morning I was, typically, running late to work. My car radio was tuned into WTOP, which is the local news station in DC - The first plane had already hit the first tower and I assumed that it was a small plane. I continued to drive to work and about halfway there the second plane hit.

If I did not know this was a major story immediately, I did when I arrived at work and everyone was telling me as I walked in; as I was normally the only one at work who relayed news.

I do not think most of America worked that day. Tammy was sent home early, I dearly wanted to go home, but ended up staying at work until 3:00. Of course, should I have been sent home I would have had nothing else to occupy my time but CNN coverage. I say this because I would be glued to the TV - Like I imagine so very many were.

I was so very distraught at work, trying to get info as I could from CNN.com - But then word came that a plane hit the Pentagon. I later found out that plane had departed less then 2 miles from our townhouse. The terrorists drove down the streets I traverse daily. I may have passed them on the way to work. It took me atleast a month to not wonder if every plane I heard was going to crash into our complex. I would constantly get up and look out the window, or wake up at the first sound of a plane. I hated living so close to the airport then.

We had field environmentalists in DC and it was so wonderful hearing the relief in the voice of the wife of one while, on the phone with me for the 3rd or 4th time, when her husband walked in the door. That was one minor "victory" that day.

Hearing jets from our office; going outside and seeing fighter jets flying overhead - It became exciting; a novelty. Then it all began to sink in. To this day it almost seems a farce. Something like this could not happen in America.

When Bush returned to DC, late that night, I still wonder if he arrived at Dulles and left from there via helicopter. We were watching CNN when they stated he arrived at Bethesda (I think it was Bethesda) - Shortly thereafter 5 military helicopters took off from Dulles. Maybe they were cover only, but I felt better, now the President would be back in DC. DC had to be safe then. Right?

I was glad Bush was in office rather then Gore. I never liked Gore much, however I felt that Bush could handle this tragedy better and more efficiently. Boy, was I wrong. A month to attack Afghanistan? Let me rephrase that, a month to allow Osama Bin Laden and Al Qaeda to escape. Our offensive in Afghanistan was efficient and the world supported us. To me, after 9/11, the world felt united in their grief and disbelief.

And then the farce known as Iraq. 9/11, an act which united us, united the world, against terrorism became the scapegoat of the Bush Administration to oust Saddam Hussein from power.

And then the Anthrax attacks. Those still go unsolved to this day. What fear we faced. Fearing to even open one's mail. And on such a scale, not random Unibomber attacks. Driving up to Maryland with potentially infected samples from mailrooms in DC - I knew my company knew what they were doing as far as containing any contamination, but it still was unnerving.

I think what I will remember the most from that day is the looks on other driver's faces as they drove home. Everyone seemed to just look over at the driver next to them and they all had the same look on their face. We were united. If that is the look of America united, then I do not want to see it ever again. Why does it take a tragedy like this to make Americans be humane to each other?

God Bless America - I wish I truly felt we were still the greatest country in the world. And that has nothing to do with the terrorist attacks, but America itself.

Wheeeee!

2006-08-30T19:52:00.000-04:00

What an eventful month it has been! Birthday, vacation, rekindling old ties, promotion. I'm tired. Actually, I'm just kinda bored now being at home after so much being the social butterfly these last few weeks.

My last day at my old position was not as difficult as I thought it could be. However, I have always been the type to dread something to death long before it happens. I did get a little teary, but not really. I did not get one cake, but two! Neither of which I had a piece of. Oops. Well, I am not really a sweets eater. Anyway, the hardest part of that night was writing my farewell letter to everyone. It really wasn't so difficult leaving though, things have changed so much there - And not for the better.

I still have not been really able to jump into the development position yet. There is just so much to learn. It's been slow now, but we're waiting on artwork so I have not had very much hands on training yet. So I've moved some things around, fixed a few bugs and learned a bit of the programming I will need to know.
But today we did go to a Japanese steakhouse for lunch as a "welcome to the team" thing. That was great. When is free food not, though? ;)

[scowls] I had to spend an hour and a half at the DMV today to get my license renewed. Sheesh. Well, I won't have to do that again until 2011 now. God, that's scary - I'll be 35 then. Ungh.
Well, maybe my license picture will look better. I look like a sunburned fat boy in my current one. [laughs] Okay, no, I don't look like a boy - But my hairdresser did cut my hair pretty short this time... Anyway, I know I've gained some weight, but I certainly do not look like I weigh 115 in the picture. I think cameras add 10 pounds in the shoulders. :-P

Anyway, this is long. I do have a site or two to include though. I think the voting for the bridge name has ended though, I cannot find a link on the Colbert website. I found the Hungarian website; but I, of course, cannot read it.

The Colbert Report - Bridge Name Update [8-16-06]

So, feel free to also vote for your favorite "Kitler" on Cats That Look Like Hitler I know one should not liken anyone or anything to Hitler, but this is just too funny. Kitlers. Hah!
If you think about it though, we do have Hitler to thank for the fact no one will ever have a mustache like him ever again. Charlie Chaplan, before Hitler's time, is the only other I can think of who wore one.

If I Traded It All...

2006-08-11T06:51:00.000-04:00

I left work a bit misty-eyed tonight. At that time, the next week, I would be closing a chapter in my life. 24/7, 265 days a year - Sacrificing holidays, weekends; one would think that it would be a Godsend to leave a job which required so much of one. And it did - and that was part of what I loved.

I interviewed today for a Development position. Well, yesterday, according to my schedule. Anyway, I thought it went well and amazingly I wasn't all that nervous. So much so that I rambled on about various things.

A half hour after the interview I learned that I earned the position.

Oh shit.

It's been so long in coming, and I have avoided such positions previously. I don't quite know how to feel right now. That's not normal -- Feeling nostalgic about being promoted. Go figure.

Am I ready for normalcy?

Thank You Momma For Making Me Gold Pants...

2006-08-08T06:36:00.000-04:00

I realize in my previous post I attempted to affirm that I am not a computer geek. However, after watching this video from wearetheweb.org, I faced the hard, cold facts.

I mean, sure, you may recognize the Dancing Baby made famous on Ally McBeal. Peter Pan, and of course the Punk Kittens, but Leslie Hall? The Tron Guy? Oh dear. If you can say you've seen all the videos which made those characters famous - Then you're a web junkie. There's just no way around it.
Admit it, accept it, embrace it.

And my public service announcement? Leslie Hall, hey, if you're reading this... Please, you really need to get fitted for a bra which suits you better. How about a gem bra? With some gold pants. That'd kinda rock.

Oh, and please use a spell checker on your website. kkthxla~

Be strong. Wear your gem sweater. Have the power to destroy villages, homes and crops.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypn436DFTUQ

Insert A More Witty Title Here

2006-08-08T05:52:00.000-04:00

Blogger.com must not like me anymore. Maybe I am just going crazy. I've tried to upload images from 3 computers and haven't been able to. I'll just have to add web images I guess. [scowls]

Anyway, going on with the previous story is sort of a moot point now, but I'd hate to disappoint my fans. Unfortunately, you will just have to settle for the short version.

Martin finished building the computer.

Being the nice guy he is, he decided he'd install some software, virus protection and stuff for me too. I think he just wanted to play around with the computer though really.

However, he neglected to address the RAID (Redundant array of independent discs) system and, thus, wiped the hard drive.
Martin was sort of sad. I was sad too. I had to watch my beautiful computer walk away from me.
But then, he was able to make use of the silly "Lan Party" tower carrying strap which came with my motherboard.

So, the next day my computer was sitting, all pretty, ready for me to take it home.
I figured it would take me about a half hour to set it up. Oh no. Couple hours. Biggest pain was the huge CRT monitor and how heavy the new PC is.
Okay, this is far too long. So here is the final result.

Yeah, I'm not a geek...

Anyway, I really hope my vacation home refreshes me and gives me the break I need from work. Now that I finally decided I would be willing to move up to Developer, I know my boss is going to try talking me into sticking it out as Trainer. It's not that I dislike it, not at all; however, it really will not pick up in scale for another 8 months. During that time it will be small-scale training and doing the same thing, on the side, I have been doing for almost 3 years.

Someone should really knock me in the head with a mallet for declining the Dev spot last year. Right decision, wrong decision - Probably the wrong one career-wise, the right one for personal reasons. It's also so sad how much the department has changed. Most of the fun people have left and I do not believe we will ever have that niche we once had.

I'm also running out of people to play practical jokes on. I'll have to improvise, I suppose.

Insert Witty Title Here

2006-08-02T05:27:00.000-04:00

Ah, it's been awhile since I have added any entries here. I almost did last night; I was feeling a bit out of sorts, but then I got busy doing something else. Things have been a bit strange and I am feeling a deep sense of worry about my dad. This stems first from the fact that, out of the blue, he sent me a large sum of money. Couple that with the fact he has been talking about his heath deteoriating lately. When I called him to thank him, he sounded very slurred. It was then that he told me he had a fall in the yard. He just fell and had no explanation why. Luckily he had his cell phone on him and called a friend. He did say he was working in the yard a lot that day, and it's been very hot in the Midwest. He was having a scotch so maybe that's why he was slurred.

He sounded much better the next day though. He really needs someone there with him and I wish I could get him to move here. He wants my nephew to move in with him to help him out. I worry whether or not that is a good idea, but the fact he needs someone with him eases any reservations I have regarding Adam moving in.

I'm considering visiting my dad this month instead of mom and everyone in Georgia. I'll make it to Illinois this year though.

But, I won't dwell on that subject - Hopefully it is just me being my usual worry-wort self.

Work has been pretty crazy. I've had 4 new employees to train in the last month, 2 of them started on Monday. They seem to be getting into the swing of things though.

My friend Martin has been such a sweetie lately. Today he spent 5 hours, hanging around work, building my new computer. I wish I would have been able to help and learn from him on how to do this myself, but with how busy I have been lately it just was not feasible.
I do have, however, some fun pictures of the process.

Here is the before. Had I been a bit more thoughtful I would have allowed the picture to encompass all of the parts strewn about. However, that would have been the epitome of geekness if I "posed" the computer and parts. One has to draw the line somewhere...

And so, the case itself posed some problems for him, but he seemed to work through them alright. The case did, however, spark many comments of "That's a huge case!"

(Directed at me) You could sleep on it! You could hide in it!

But hey, it's a sweet box and everyone seemed to think so.

Well, it appears the rest of this exciting tale will need to wait for another time... As my current PC appears to be struggling tonight. Blogger is not placing new images in this entry and my Internet Explorer has encountered an error three times now.

Blah blah

2006-07-12T04:47:00.000-04:00

Any who opt to be prompted for ActiveX controls on a website will note there is one here now. That is just the MP3 bar I added below my links. I was a sad panda. You see, all the cool kids on Myspace have MP3 players so you can enjoy their music. Of course, most of them have it set to immediately start blaring, whether you want it to or not, while the page is loading. I find that unnecessary and a general annoyance. Not to mention I just hate MySpace in general. Perhaps that is what I am really getting at...

Anyway, the world needs to be able to enjoy my music; and have the choice to listen and not be forced to turn it off when loading the site. So, it's there now. I can't say I will update it daily - Because I won't - I will from time to time though. And I listen to damn cool music. That's a fact. So do not fear the Bainshee's music, or ActiveX prompts.

Head On - Apply Directly To The Forehead

2006-07-01T21:06:00.000-04:00

A marketing marvel! You'll want to turn your volume up a little, it is not the best quality video.

Is there an Oscar-equivalent award given to commercials? If so, where do I cast my vote!? Pure genius! I mean, not only are all the instructions included, but for those who do not know where one's forehead is - There's that helpful yellow arrow! I really learned a lot from this commercial. I wonder if I can get the ringtone somewhere. Hm.
I'm not entirely sure what the product does, but I feel the need to spread this miraculous product to the masses who read my blog.
I believe this will set a standard in commercials. Think of all the possibilities.

Suppositories: "Butt in! Apply directly in the butt! Butt in! Apply directly in the butt!"

...There aren't really suppository commercials - Are there?

How Not To Steal A Sidekick

2006-06-27T05:08:00.000-04:00

I realized I didn't post a link, as I normally would, in my last drama post.

So... This is a great read. You'll need a bit of time, but its great. For the skinny. A guy's friend left their Sidekick phone/browser/camera in a cab in NY, offered a reward by sending a text message to it, then was basically blown off by the kid who found it. Sounds pretty usual and, unfortunately all too common, right? What made this uncommon was the massive amount of Internet and media attention the story got. At times it does come off as petty, on both sides, but who can really blame them for being pissed the phone was stolen?

Enjoy the read.
How Not To Steal A Sidekick

I still dwell in possibility

2006-06-27T03:18:00.000-04:00

What a busy week it has been. New trainee last Monday and a new one today, one informal review and one formal reviews done. Michelle has been promoted so I will be training her this week also. Thankfully I've released Andrew from under my wing. I'll have yet another trainee within the next two weeks.

And top it off with Aaron getting fired. I think we were all surprised, but then, we also were not surprised. I feel bad for the guy, I always considered him a friend; but he did it all to himself. He knew people had problems with him as a supervisor. His ability, his willingness, his attitude - Everything. He had 6 months to improve.

While he never should have been promoted in the first place, and I said so from the start (Very vocally which put a strain on our friendship), he had every opportunity to shape up. I mean, just because you are gay it does not give you the right to demean women and make comments about how "boobs are icky". While it never offended me, I can see how it would and how it would make others uncomfortable. It sounds so incredibly childish; and it was - Just think, now he has the fact he was fired (and in part for sexual harassment) is going to really hurt him. I mean, he had it made. What an idiot.

I have to admit, I went easy on him in my review earlier this month. I was honest and stated I felt he improved, but I did not go into a great amount of detail regarding improvement areas. I knew others were going to lambast him, and rightly so. I let the fact he was recently diagnosed with HIV make some of that decision for me. But honestly, he had improved. But man, I didn't want to see him shit on any more. I really did not expect his firing.

I spent entirely too long talking about that.

It is a year today that Friskey died. Words cannot express how completely guilty I feel. I should never have left her to go off on some stupid trip knowing she was going downhill. She so deserved better then that and I will feel guilty the rest of my life for such a selfish act. I remember a friend telling me that maybe she waited until I was gone. But I don't believe it. And I know I made the choice I did, in part, because I couldn't bear to put her to sleep. With Peach in February, I feel good that I made the right decision. But he was suffering - And if Friskey was, I could not see it. Maybe I didn't want to. Maybe that was it.

Maybe I talked so much about work because I didn't want to write about this. I thought this kind of loss got easier with time. I should be happy she lived with me for almost 18 years. I know people make bonds with their pets and they believe their pets were/are the best. It was such a different bond. It was as if we had our own little language. Heh, these are the things I should keep to myself at the risk of sounding crazy.

It has been one hell of a year though. Very difficult and trying. I hope the 30's are better. Aren't they supposed to be the new 20's? Actually, that's probably something that those in their 30's say to make themselves feel better. Heh.

And I have no reason or excuse, but I've started smoking again. It's just strange. After almost a year I just started. Really no urges at all during that time. It was just what was when I wasn't smoking, and now it just what is now. I really don't think I will continue long though. I won't smoke when I go home next month. I really don't want to admit that I started again. Ah, but going home for a week will be real nice.

Vrooom Vrooom!

2006-06-19T04:51:00.000-04:00

Ah, I haven't been in much of a writing mood lately. It isn't as if I have nothing to write - Just that I've been lazy.

So last Monday I finally bit the bullet and bought a new car. I think I may be slightly crazy, since I ended up getting that Mustang I wanted - But I'm going to be 30 in a few months and I want something fun (Not that life starts going downhill at 30 or something... Let's just call it an early, mid-life crisis). I don't want to be scared to drive for fear of my car breaking down. I wanted to support Ford in their decision to not pull advertising from gay magazines and donations to GLAAD from Jaguar sales. I'll send them mail soon explaining my reason and thanking them for their support.

My ex is the one who got me interested in the new model Mustangs. I was not so up on them, in part, because, really, we should all be buying more fuel efficient cars. Call me a hypocrite, I know she is, but I cannot argue with her there. Perhaps a selfish purchase on my part. I guess Travis, her brother, told her the news and her comment was something snarky. That's alright though, it is what I expected and kind of hard to hide the car from a coworker.

Speaking of which, I should write Alpha. And Denise. And Amanda. And Beth. Man, I am terrible with email. I have 3 emails in my box from her which I have not responded to yet.

Oh, and I have a new trainee tomorrow. Andrew, the new employee I trained a few weeks ago, is still an ongoing project. There have been improvements, and I expect more after my review tonight, but I think his lack of game knowledge is going to hurt him more in the end then anything else. I have a feeling this is his first job too - His customer service skills, so far, have left something to be desired. But he is improving. I hopefully will be able to give him more access and commands this week.

It's been a good challenge though. It's not all a cakewalk like it was with Michelle. Speaking of which, I better make sure to get my butt up early enough to go to the buffet with her today before work.

Let's pause for a moment to look at something very beautiful.

I'm still not sold on the Mustang 'racing stripe'. I can have it removed, but I have a feeling I'll leave it. I mean, it doesn't really detract from the car itself. I need to consider other accessories. Wonder if I should get a bra for it like I had on my bug. I need a good idea for vanity plates too. I can't believe I cannot get any variation of 'HARPY' - Who else but me would be crazy enough to have that plate? [sighs]

Dad is so funny, talking about his cats and taking them for their 'makeover'. I still haven't told him about the car - I'll save that verbal reaming for a later date. But seriously, I cannot imagine taking either of my cats to get baths and shaved. Miss L, the deaf white cat of his, loves it - Or so dad says anyway. It's all amusing, just the same.

Well, time for bed I guess - Enough rambling tangents for today. : )

Tricksey Hobbits!

2006-06-06T03:00:00.000-04:00

Whew! Without going into any history here - My car sucks. VW sucks. Wait, I think I posted that once here before anyway.

So, over the weekend the check engine light came on in my car. I panic a little. I agonize over the weekend. I know what happens next. The car does not start.

I dislike car shopping but it seems I cannot keep putting off the inevitable unless I want to pump even more money into this accident on wheels. Worried but hopeful, I trudge out to the car after my weekend and it starts!
I carefully drive to work, mindful of the light - I believe that keeping the a/c off will have some impact on the engine holding out. I'm a little more at ease. Today, a busy and tiring day, comes to an end and I drive home without incident.
Suddenly... it comes to me! The answer to the check engine light horror is within my grasp! Okay, well, not really, I just realized I needed gas. That's right, and I stopped and got that gas. Ah, look, a free Pirates of the Caribbean cup sign. Alas, no drinking from a vessel with Kiera Knightly on it for me. I'm not buying a donut and large coffee.

Whew. Tough job pumping that gas and stopped it exactly at $20. I'm obviously feeling a little lucky...
I start up the car (half thinking it won't start back up again, naturally).

Voila! The light goes out! I laugh and pump my fist at my triumph! I half wish it is not 2am and someone else were there to witness my triumph and trickery. I should be a mechanic.

It's like my mysterious headlight that works some days and chooses not to others. Now, any sane person would say, "Banshee, something is wrong with your car. There's a short somewhere." Yes! However, it's like the plague, it just keeps coming back - Oh yes, I've had it fixed before. Don't ask me how many times unless you have an hour free.

I mean, good God, how much money I could have saved had I known that all I needed to do was put gas in the car!

Yes, I'm being facetious here... But the light really did go out after I got gas. The rational side of me knows that there's something wrong and it's only a matter of time... But the irrational part of me feels a bit more safe knowing the check engine light is off again. Man, I'm easy.

Nevertheless, I will be purchasing a car this month. I know when to stop tempting fate.

But today was tiring, but fun - I did not get too much sleep due to getting 4 damn calls between 9:00 am and noon - Then up at 12:30 to meet Tom at the mall for Japanese buffet. A mall doesn't sound like the best place for a buffet, but man, this place is good. I ate till I could eat no more and they chased us out of the restaurant at the end of the lunch period.
My only amount of sadness came when I went for Masago and it was already gone and lunch was almost over. They did have some of the more spicy sushi I enjoy though. Man, I am really still full from the ordeal. I think I'll go back on Thursday. Whee!

I didn't go through the changing my license deal at the DMV, the line was too long and I can just do it via mail. My current license picture is pretty nice, I have to say. Of course, it was taken in 2001. Hah!

All of this reminds me also that I neglected to post anything about the two cases of pop in the trunk exploding on me last week. I wonder if I need to perform some purification ritual upon myself and the car before purchasing another.

How about this for a retro blast from the past. I love these old commercials. Can you just imagine what an unopened box of this would be worth now?

Marriage-Protection Amendment

2006-05-31T07:10:00.000-04:00

If you would care to voice your opposition to the proposed Constitutional Marriage Amendment, please visit this website. At the bottom of the page is a pre-drafted email which you can send your Senators. It only takes a moment.

What's In A Title?

2006-05-30T04:43:00.000-04:00

It has been a pretty eventful week, yet all I can find to write about is that dream I had and some Harper's Index facts. Speaking of which, it's unnerving how I posted the facts about the Vietnam/Iraqi conflict regarding how many members of the media who were killed - And then there is a bombing today which critically wounds one and kills atleast two others. [sighs]
On that, I have two thoughts - We're just far too obsessed with the "story". I appreciate members of the media risking their lives to inform the world, but enough is enough.
And secondly, I'm so glad I didn't grow up during this time - I don't know if dad would have agreed to cover the situation in Iraq, but I'm glad he is not faced with the choice. It was so sad to hear a sound engineer was among those killed. Of course, I guess dad wouldn't have been "entrenched" like that though. I'll have to call him tomorrow and ask him what he thinks about the media over there.
And, of course, I went off on an unrelated tangent. Heh.

Anyway, I have a new trainee at work. I think it's going to be more work this time molding him and breaking him of some bad typing and grammar habits. I'm thankful for there finally being a new hire and the challenge though. I need to also work on being more clear and decisive in how I want him to respond in certain situations as well. I think he'll do well; he seems to have a knack for creativity - I just need to stop being so scatterbrained when explaining something and stick to the subject at hand.
Michelle was easy to train and picked up things very quick. Hopefully this new fellow will be the same, but I have a good sense it will be a little more difficult.

My two discoveries and issues of great avoidance this past week - First, learning a good friend tested HIV positive. [sighs] I can't imagine what it must be like. I mean, I am not avoiding him - Of course not. I'm just avoiding thinking about it.

I was so shocked when he told me, I want to avoid it to the point I just don't even want to write much about it at all. I didn't expect to start crying - I don't think he expected it either. He looked at me like I was crazy. I mean, it was diagnosed early and there have been great advances when it comes to AIDS/HIV research and treatment.

Dad's had some sketchy results from some recent tests. When he was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer two years ago, and thus had the Prostate removed - things looked pretty well except for some anomalies within the surrounding fatty tissue. So... Something is going on there again I guess. He should have the results by now I think - Whether or not he'll be fully honest with what they are is in the air.

Smoking. No, I am certainly not going to start again, but I did have one the other day. I think I used stress as an excuse, because I knew it wasn't going to relieve me or anything. I didn't enjoy it either. It did not feel natural even holding it. The smoke bothered me and I could hardly inhale. It's almost been a year since I quit, I don't plan on starting again. But it was something I did this last week - I don't feel I let myself down and I do not feel I gained anything either. It just is what I did.
I think I am curious as to why I even smoked in the first place and what I derived from it. I certainly cannot see it now. It tasted like ass, I smelled like smoke when I was done and it wasn't as if it was pleasurable in the least.

On a more positive, and completely frivolous note, I have almost completed watching the first season of Lost. It's pretty good I have to admit. I wouldn't say I am hooked or anything, but it is entertaining.
Damn, and now that just reminded me that I did not set the DVR to record the History Channel special on George Washington. Hm, will have to check for upcoming repeats.

Oh! And sleeping on my new "Memory Foam" mattress: Pretty comfortable and snazzy. (I'm currently trying it out and deciding whether or not I want to buy a platform bed or a regular bed and boxspring when I can afford it) So.. If it's so comfortable, why can't I sleep through the night? I mean, it's kinda nice when you wake up and realize you have another 3 hours to sleep... But when you wake up every 1/2 hour thereafter... Not so nice.

I'm just rambling now. I think I'll watch the Emo girl video to cheer me up. I mean... It's like, I can witness the entropy of the world, man.

Emo Girl

Did You Know...

2006-05-29T07:11:00.000-04:00

I am a lover of statistics and facts. The odder the better, but the ones which make you think, now those are the best. Harper's magazine's has some of the greatest statistics in their monthly Index. Use the link at your right to view more, these are but some of them from past issues.

_______________________________________

Number of years the United States could meet its energy needs by burning all its trees: 1
_____

Number of small businesses that applied for U.S. disaster loans after last fall’s hurricanes: 244,602

Percentage that had been approved as of mid-November: 3

Raise your hand if you are surprised.
_____

Minutes that NBC and CBS spent covering the Darfur genocide last year: 8

Incredibly sad and depressing. Future generations will look back in shame at the world's disregard and ignorance.
_____

Number of people whom Coalition forces have imprisoned in Iraq at some point since March 2003: 48,526

Percentage of these who have been convicted of a crime: 1.5
_____

Number of workplace arrestsmade by U.S. immigration authorities in 1997: 17,554

Number in 2003: 445
_____

Number of U.S. counties where more than a fifth of "residents" are inmates: 21

Number of these that are in Texas: 10

I'll no longer ponder the phrase, "Don't Mess With Texas"... (I'll have to find something else to fill that empty void)
_____

Minimum number of registered sex offenders who evacuated during Hurricane Katrina and cannot be accounted for: 2,000
_____

Alabama state senators co-sponsoring a bill last summer to "protect" public displays of the Ten Commandments: 10

Number of them who could list the Commandments: 1

I'm actually a little surprised at this. More amused then anything else though.
_____

Percentage change in the average monthly price of oil during the Carter
Administration: +85

Percentage change during the presidency of George W. Bush before Hurricane Katrina hit this fall: +107
_____

Number of journalists killed in Vietnam during twenty years of war
there: 63

Number killed in Iraq since March 2003: 71

Of course, we weren't as obsessed with the media as we are now. Present company included - Well, I wasn't alive then, but if I were, I think I'd be Gogo dancing.
_____

Percentage of U.S. women who own vibrators: 46

Now you know I just HAD to add that one...

Dreams of Infestation

2006-05-28T18:40:00.000-04:00

I had a strange dream the other night I've been thinking over in my head. It's not bothering me, per se, but it was just so strange and I know it has a meaning - Probably one I don't want to know the answer to honestly.

This dream was late into my sleep, I recall having dreams before this one weren't really noteworthy but were not unpleasant - My usual dreams while falling asleep to some History Channel program. I'm probably the only one who gets a kick out of having dreams about being chased by Stalin or being killed by my work supervisor in the Roman occupation of Jerusalem. And I was only trying to wound him!

So anyway, I'm in an unknown, unremarkable building - I think maybe a kitchen or lab of some type. I think the room was mostly white. My mom is there and she is holding a dead white mouse. Holding it with it's stomach face up in the palm of her hand. I believe I say "Awww" or something of that nature, then turn to walk away because I do not like seeing it.

My mom calls me back after a moment and says, "Bainshee, look at this." (And, of course, she did not really call me Bainshee since that is not my real name) She turns to me and has the mouse held in her cupped hands with it's stomach opened, ribs separated. In the stomach area are all these tiny moving white bugs. Lots of them.
Suddenly they fly out at me and land on my leg, though I make an attempt to jump back and avoid them. I really only manage to yell, "Ungh!". I'm quite disgusted, of course, and I go off to shower.
My mom comes over a bit later and thought my reaction was funny.

Definitely one of the stranger dreams I've had. Maybe the History Channel was airing something about the Plague or something. Anyway, kinda creepy.

Volkswagen is the Debil

2006-05-22T03:52:00.000-04:00

Leaving work tonight my car almost didn't start. Took a good 10 second for the ignition to finally kick in. Have I mentioned lately the complete love and admiration I have for my amazing and wondrous Volkswagen New Beetle? I mean, I cannot believe I've managed to drive almost 2000 miles and the, second, Alternator and battery (3rd overall) I had replaced in December is still holding out! Wow! And... the trunk latch I had replaced last year in May... It still works! And... The two headlights and fuse panel I had replaced last year... Oh, wait, scratch that, that pesky right headlight decides when it does, and does not, want to work.
And the other alternator I had replaced in September of 2004 -- Oh, well, we know what happened there. And the transmission problems the previous year, and the under carriage being ripped off because I drove in SNOW! WTF, who drives in the snow?! Silly me, I'm so crazy to drive in the snow! Lawlz!
Man, this car has been good to me with the hundreds of thousands of miles... Oh wait, make that 51,000 miles.

But, it's all good. I've put so much money into the car that its comical at this point. But- those of you are out there looking to purchase a Volkswagen New Beetle. Research it first. I've not talked to one Volkswagen New Beetle owner who said they would purchase one again. Not one hasn't had many of the same problems as I. And like I said, it's comical, I love laughing about all the problems with other Beetle owners.

Anyway, let's spread some cheer with some more links.
This is, in my opinion, one of the best commercials in years.

Starbucks Commercial

This link may even work for those of you, who shall go unnamed, who are still on dial-up. :)
Jack Nicholson Orders A Pizza

Well, Iron Chef is calling me.

The Evolution of Dance by Judson Laipply

2006-05-22T01:39:00.000-04:00

This is absolutely hysterical. What a great link. I wouldn't mind seeing this guy live. I might just research him a bit.

Evolution of Dance

Short installment since I am supposed to be working now.

Warhammer Online

2006-05-16T06:46:00.000-04:00

How about something less serious and less, well, gay?

Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are...

2006-05-12T04:44:00.000-04:00

Anyone who has read my posts, on AfterEllen otherwise, may know that I am very opinionated on whether or not a celebrity has an obligation to come out of the closet. For those unfamiliar: I am pro-choice. We, as individuals, have the right to remain in the closet if we so choose. I'm sure that analogy will not sit well with some, but it serves it's purpose and proves my point in ways which the nay-sayers will never admit.

So, I've been following Mary Cheney's saga. You know, the daughter of the Vice President, who is gay, yet stands by her father. To Dick Cheney's credit he did stand by his daughter when the fact she was gay came into light. I applaud that. He was willing to support her to the degree which he, and his GOP constituents, were comfortable with. That amount, I am quite sure, did not suit our esteemed President, but it was more then I expected.

Mary Cheney, I must say, you are quite the spokesperson for family values. You stood by your father, working for the Bush/Cheney Campaign, as you helped elect the 43rd President of the United States. A President who, unabashed, campaigned to solidify our, your, place as a secondary citizen. I mean, if that's not family values, I'm just not sure what is. Talk about taking one for the team.

I think I rambled off on another tangent again. My apologies. Shit, I do that a lot.

But screw all that. That was years ago! Bush/Cheney can't run for a 3rd term! Time to switch teams!
You're going to take a stand: You're coming out and you've...writing a book! You're doing the talk show circuit! Interviews: Primetime, Daytime, Anytime. I simply cannot wait to see the benefits the gay and lesbian organizations receive from the generous contributions you plan on... Oh, oh shit. Well, I'm embarrassed. Pretend like I didn't insinuate you would contribute anything to our cause. Golly, how embarrassing of me.

I'm Pro-Choice, mind you. These celebrities who are purported to be gay and remain in the closet (and whom I shall not name) - I have nothing but respect for you. Honestly. Those celebrities who are out and proud - I applaud your decision and pray you will face nothing but goodwill and rainbow-colored fanfare. It is true that those who were willing to speak out paved the way for the rest of us. You all are heroes in your own right.

There are so many in our community who bitch and moan that Ellen does not do enough. This irritiates me to no end. I've seen Ellen come out to the world of her own right and will. I've read her book and her mother's book. I've listened to her speak at the Milinnieum March in Washington. I have no doubt she has contributed large sums to various gay and lesbian organizations as well as many other charities. She cares.
I only mention Ellen because I will not point fingers at those who have chosen to remain in the closet and because, well, Ellen seems to be the unfortunate target for some.

Apparently coming out to the world is not enough anymore. Someone needs to enlighten the realists among us of what is to be expected when we come out.

Mary Cheney. Too little, too late.

Quickie

2006-05-10T03:55:00.000-04:00

So I'm on page 11 or something of The Deed Of Paksenarrion. Its not bad so far. Is it just me, or are heroines always tall? That's rather annoying. I guess a 6 foot tall woman is more intimidating then a 5 foot tall one. It's shortism I say! You know, prejudice against short people! Shortism. That sounds like a disease. Ach, a short disease. Nevermind.

I should have gone to LA for E3 this week. Next year. It will be better next year anyway. That's actually a great idea for a road trip. I miss the desert still sometimes.

Darth Vader Prank

I'll immortalize another funny video in my totally awesome blog here. Wheee!
This is so something I would do. Of course, that shortism comes into effect again. And the mask would probably be too big.
Wait, I bet a 5 foot tall Yoda would be scary. I mean, he's a scary little guy... Right?

Writing and Ethanol

2006-05-03T03:59:00.000-04:00

Two things on the agenda this night.

First, a query. In my previous post I provided a link to coverage of a speech geared towards the Bush Administration. Many points I noted, laughed at, filed into the back of my mind; and I leisurely reclined to enjoy the rest of the video...
But if you watched it all, you may have heard a point which was made...

...Do we all have a book idea in our heads?

Do we all believe we have this great idea for a bestseller which we allow to lie dormant in our heads? If you answered yes -- Then what is preventing you from writing it? The notion which was presented in that speech, simply fascinates me; and I would truly like to hear more - For those stories should presented. For myself, I know that I am far too much of a perfectionist for it to ever make it into someone else's hands to read. And that is my excuse.

Or am I simply far too much of an idealist? Or am I being elite?

Second point. Ethanol.

During this "fuel crisis", many seem to use the fuel shortage of the 1970's as an example. A warning.

Let me tell you this. On the average, vehicles now get the same amount of gas mileage per gallon they did then.
Are you shocked? Outraged? Disbelieving?
Do you drive an SUV?
Then you are a part of the reason for the absorbent gas prices in this country.

Let me go back to the 1970's here.
Brazil took the initiative and spent billions on alternative fuels.
Right now, if the world's oil dried up - Brazil would be self-sufficient because of the research and amount spent on Ethanol.

America - We're in the 1970's.
Enjoy your Expeditions and Hummers.
What you reap is what you sow.

Stephen Colbert @ The White House Correspondents Dinner

2006-05-02T22:42:00.000-04:00

This is priceless. Stephen Colbert of the Daily Show was invited (from what I understand) to the White House Correspondents Dinner this past Sunday by an outgoing coordinator. (If you can correct me, please do) And he made a complete fool of Bush and the entire Bush Administration. It's about 25 minutes long, but well worth the watch.
Apparently Laura Bush refused to shake his hand at the conclusion of his speech and presentation.

The first link is the entire presentation and the second picks up in the middle. Watch it ALL though! His skit as 'White House Press Secretary' is a little too long, imo, but the funniest part of it is at the end, IMO.

Link To CSPAN Coverage

I think Stephen Colbert manages to offend nearly everyone in the room and many foreign nationals as well. I don't necessarily approve of all of that, but his assessments of the Bush Administration is dead on.

He's got a lot of guts to give a speech like this right to the President's face.

I Am Not A Mocodity!

2006-05-02T04:00:00.000-04:00

I have discovered something so wondrous, so miraculous, so incredibly scrumdiliumptious that I must share!

Herbs in a tube! No more buying a bulk bunch of basil with half of it going to waste, no more sacrificing dried, bland herbs for fresh -- No! No more! ...They're a little pricy but... The smell alone in the kitchen now makes up for it. Scented candles? Feh, who needs em?

Oh, and thank you, oh so much, Mr. Spell Checker for changing "Mullets" to "Mallets" in my previous post. Yes, "Ode to Mallets" - I am not sure which of the two is more lesbian-esque. Maybe I'm just too far out of the loop. Must start counting lesbians with mullets vs lesbians with mallets. I think I will buy some lumber too.

Oh shit... It's Dr. Tran!

Ode to Mullets

2006-05-01T05:02:00.000-04:00

A new link for the day.

Just For Lesbians

As much as I enjoy MadTV, one would think I'd watch it once in awhile.

Resolutions for this month: Get off my ass and buy a new car, find girlfriend

...I'm funny.

The L Word, Rubberbands and Soup

2006-04-30T01:09:00.000-04:00

Words cannot adequately express how excited I am that Marlee Matlin is joining the L Word cast. She is a wonderful actress who has made such a huge impact for the deaf, I am so excited she's willing to tackle such a controversial series. A deaf lesbian - I really don't think one has been portrayed in TV or movies before.
This is the only reason I am excited for next season. This season left me wanting.

I should post a picture of my new cat, Guy. Though, I am trying to stray away from posting about my cats and cat woes since, well, that's all I've really posted about. I sound like the scary neighborhood cat-lady. "Guy" became his default name after others just did not catch on. When I realized I was calling him "Guy", for the most part, I figured that already was his name.
He's friggin huge - Xena weighs almost 11 pounds, Guy seriously has to be near 20. He's not fat though, just a huge cat.

So since I have introduced him, I'll tell this lovely story.

So I came home from work the other night to find a pair of HUGE hairballs on the floor. Ew. So I go to clean them up and notice, what I believe to be, a rubberband there. I thought to myself, "Aw, poor guy, good thing he coughed that up." Then I think to myself again, "Hm, I need to take a closer look at it..."

So I pick it up and I'm looking at it, stretching it out and it's springy like a rubberband. But something just doesn't seem right...

...Then it moves.

That was one of the most repulsive things I've had the displeasure to be a part of. Needless to say, I bought some over-the-counter de-wormer the next day (yesterday) and will make him a vet appointment. Really. Gross. Why can't I just have hassle-free pets?!

So... After that endearing story, I will move on to the next most logical subject - Food. Specifically soup! I made some pretty good soup yesterday from the recipe book Aaron loaned me. It has the fancy name of Soupe Savoyarde. Which means Savoyard Cream of Potato Soup. Why do cookbooks give an estimated preparation time/cooking time of 30 minutes - But it always takes me atleast an hour? Anyway, I am going to post the recipe since I will not have the cookbook forever. It's not hard to remember, but I'll share the love.

5 Cups Chicken Stock
4 Large Potatoes (I prefer the small red ones though, and used 12 of them instead)
2 1/2 Cups Milk
4 Tablespoons Butter
2/3 Cup grated Gruyere Cheese
Salt/Pepper

Basically, cover and boil the potatoes in the chicken stock (and have more stock on hand since it evaporates). Then blend in a blender when soft. Place back in pot over low/medium heat and add the rest of the stuff. That's it. :)

Foiled Again!

2006-04-25T06:19:00.000-04:00

Yes, it is that time of year again... The boss' birthday!
Exciting and wonderous things happen at this time of year. Let me allow the pictures to explain...

Here we have a view outside of his office. I'm not sure Martha Stewart would be proud, but we did our best to add a bit of color and glamour. I may just buy a few of these for the apartment!

Also, please note the sign - Yes, the one with the swirly streamers hanging from it - It indicates that this is where the party is. Hm, well, the swirly stuff sort of looks like a giant spider in the picture. Not quite the look we were going for but, hey, decorating is a science which computer geeks just are not meant to master.

What's that you say... What's that hint of color lurking beyond the pretty purple streamers?

Yay Balloons! Everyone loves balloons right!?

I most especially like the sign in the back which reads, "Aged to Perfection".

I've been slacking and not adding this to my blog, just had it saved as a draft. I had another picture but apparently I did not save it and I don't feel like sending it from my phone again.

He has since returned to the office from his two days off and, I hear, the reaction was priceless. And now two other coworkers cubes are filled with balloons.

Oh, and I never want to blow up another balloon again. :)

Puppies vs Cat

2006-04-22T00:29:00.000-04:00

A quick break from work to post this link.

Puppies vs Cat!

Oh, one more.

Chirp Chirp

OMG We're Lesbians!

2006-04-19T02:29:00.000-04:00

First, let me add this link for you, my 2 readers. Please forgive me if I forgot someone. Heh. So this was posted on AfterEllen and it cracked me up. Remember that band TaTu? Okay, they're not so much of a band really - But they made headlines by being "lesbians" and making out in their videos. Nevermind the fact they were like 14 at the time and being exploited like mad. So... Here's the link:
TaTu! We're Lesbians!

I'm terribly bored. I had the last two days off and managed to accomplish nothing in that amount of time. And now I have to work 9 days in a row. So sad. I've seriously got to get my butt in gear and get a new car and visit the family. The last thing I want to do here is talk about my car, or cars in general, for that matter.

I've been staring at this book I was loaned for a month and never have picked it up. That could be because it is over 1000 pages long. Yes... The Deed of Paksenarrion is the name. And I'm sure it's going to be great - Then I will spend every moment of free time reading it until it's completed. I love reading, but I never can just spend a set amount of time reading - It has to be immediate and complete.

I need a new name for this blog too. 'I Dwell In Possibility' is kind of silly. It's better then the previous title which shall not be mentioned though...

I Want Gummy Worms

2006-04-16T00:17:00.000-04:00

Crappy job. I was bored, but not that bored.

"It's my favorite..."

2006-04-15T23:10:00.000-04:00

The drama and debacle at work this week revolved around the missing gummy worms.

So our newest coworker, who has worked with us for a little over a month now, had some gummy worms in the drawer next to her desk. After her weekend she opened her drawer to find the container empty and a post-it note left. The note read something like, "In a time of crisis the gummy worms were devoured. To be continued...".

Everyone was questioned, even the handwriting was scrutinized. I said from the start it was this one girl. Secretly I think even those who disagreed vocally believed it was her also. Unfortunately, she was off work for her weekend so the verdict would be out until she worked again. That was tonight. And I was right.

I'm really tired of the girl who stole them. She did answer that it was her and said she would replace them -- But what kind of gall to take something from within someone's desk! And then not replacing them right away. I think it's pretty reasonable to assume that if someone does that, they replace them immediately. But the girl we're talking about is a few cards short of a full deck.

This is the same girl who took, and ate, a half-eaten fortune cookie off my desk. I left my desk for about 10 minutes after eating half of it and it was gone when I returned. I have to ask, many times, what happened to my fortune cookie. I look around on the floor, behind my desk. It's not like I LOVE fortune cookies or something, but I hadn't even gotten to the fortune yet! She finally speaks up and says, "Oh, was that your's? I ate it. Fortune cookies are my favorite."

I just stared at her. What the hell could I say? To take something off someone else's desk and eat it is one thing... But it was OPENED and only half was left. I'm not sure if anything more strange has ever happened to me.

A week later another coworker asked her, out of the blue, "Hey, did you eat my taco?" LOL
...And it went right over her head. And she also replied that "Taco Bell was her favorite".

There was also the time at the company holiday party where she sat in my seat after I got up AND drank my water.

Anytime something goes missing now we all concur it is because it "is her favorite".

She also goes by the names, "Chompy McApples", "Chompers McGee" and other variations. I've never seen, or heard, anyone eat like her before. If she has gum, everyone knows it. Loud-Masticator is her middle name. It's just disgusting.
She's incredibly immature and annoying as well. There is just no way to adequately describe her.

I mean, if I ate like a pig and people had to put on their headphones when I ate -- I would want to know it! But seriously, how do you tell someone something which is so obvious? "Hey, close your fucking mouth when you eat!" And, I mean, it's just common sense. Ungh.

Unequivocally, she is the most obnoxious person I've ever known.

An Archaeological Vacation?

2006-04-10T05:26:00.000-04:00

Recently a friend introduced me to the idea of a volunteer archaeology vacation and it is truly teasing me to go with it. Maybe not Europe, per se, but I'm sure there are opportunities within the U.S. - I live in an area where there's probably more opportunities then in other areas of the states. If nothing else, I would meet others with similar interests.

I need to get the nerve to go to Europe, or overseas for that matter, my list of 'must-see' places keeps increasing and increasing.
1. Greece
2. Visit all of (the sites) of 7 Wonders of the Ancient World.
*However, I don't think I will be visiting Iraq anytime soon; Babylon can wait
3. Italy
4. Petra
5. Israel / Masada
6. Finish all 50 states
7. New Zealand

That's enough for now.

On unrelated notes, Spring has arrived and the near-daily migraines have already started. [sighs] Its late enough, I should go to bed with this headache - But I know I'll just sleep until it's time for me to get ready for work anyway.
Well, my head is killing me so I'll see if I can find the Alieve.

The Immigration Debate

2006-04-10T00:41:00.000-04:00

Immigration. You cannot turn on the TV now without hearing the debate. Honestly though, is there really a debate? It's so one sided it seems. The rallys and protests are all on the part of those who are for the amnesty/legal status for illegal immigrants and against any further limits/enforcing of anti-illegal immigration. Lou Dobbs of CNN is the only one I've heard really taking a strong opposing stand. I just don't get it.

While polls are not scientifically sound, every one I have seen has had a ratio of 75%-80% against legalization for those illegals in the country now. The political jockeying is annoying the hell out of me. It is not right to give legal status to those who entered/remain in the country by breaking the law while there are so many who have always waited and taken the legal steps to become citizens. This is all for votes and nothing more. The safety of the country is not the main concern and in a post-9/11 world that is a very dangerous precedent to set.

Oh well, I've really nothing to add of great substance. Just rambling on.

Goodbye Old Boy

2006-02-22T09:24:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I made the hard decision and had Peach put to sleep. In a way I feel vindicated since I actually was able to make the decision and was there with him - unlike Friskey. He was such a brat and had so many behavioral problems, but he was still a sweet, silly cat for the (almost) 12 years I had him.

I know I'll never have as vocal of a cat as he was again. He could be so loud to the point it was just obnoxious. I think he was part dog. I plan on leash-training my next cat though. I had forgotten how nice it was to walk him. The last place I lived it just was not possible, but he got plenty of walks in the 6 months I've been here.

Poor Xena. I woke up in the middle of the night and she wasn't with me. I found her sitting at my roommate's closed door. Peach used to go in there a lot and I know she was waiting for him. Nearly broke my heart. They were nearly inseparable.

I'm glad that he's not suffering and that I was able to go through with putting him down. If I had kept him going any longer I would have been being selfish and so weak. He didn't seem like he was in pain, but he was having trouble walking and keeping his balance. Dr Barry said he was very anemic. So no amount of fluids would have helped. And, well, he doesn't have to deal with those daily injections now. I hated doing that to him.

When I lost Friskey I nearly lost him too. I was able to focus my grief into helping him get back on his feet. I believe the time in between then and now was extra time. He's probably up there bothering the hell out of her now - Like he used to here.

As much as I hate the snow - I don't mind that its snowing now.

--

I don't know why I feel so compelled to write this stuff. Its doing nothing but upsetting me. I really mind being single now. I just want someone here to give me a hug. Did I give into weakness by going to Tammy's the night Friskey died? I appreciate her being there for me, but it wasn't exactly what I needed. I did not want to be alone then. But beyond that, I wanted someone who I knew wanted to be there for me. [sighs] I dunno, maybe she didn't know what to do. I'm not pointing fingers or casting blame. I appreciated her being there - Whether or not she wanted to be.

It's bad to say, but the cats being sick is one thing which prevented me from going places and doing things. So now I am free to do more. I've just thrust myself into this pit of solitude and I'm not sure how to get myself out. Right now I just want to sleep. I've been sleeping so much though with this damn cold. I look like absolute hell. Going to work last night was crazy - And I look 100x better now then I did last night.

But, I'll be working tonight. I can't just sit here and write, or sleep constantly.

I must learn to write in this blog when good things happen.

Flying Squirrels

2006-01-03T11:58:00.000-05:00

Whew I'm sleepy. Just got back from the vet with Peach. I should try to sleep some more. 2 hours probably won't cut it.

He's not a happy camper, but he was a good boy. Blood work should be back tomorrow. Dr. Barry also wanted to have blood work done on his Thyroid because of his high blood pressure and white gums. I couldn't help but laugh when she commented on his bad breath. IT's HORRIBLE! I hate giving him his pills mostly because of that. I'm kind of glad he doesn't give kisses like Xena does and Friskey did.

And I swear, there were omens while I was driving to the vet! First, this big truck drives by me with 'Oversize Load' and boards that are sticking out on the sides. It passed and I'm like 'uhhh...'. So then ahead of me there's a pickup or something and a garbage can flies out of it! It was far enough ahead so avoiding it was no problem but I did worry about the dump truck ahead of me.

Now to top that! Just afterwards a bird flies up from the side of the road and I notice it's carrying something -- Which it then drops and it hits the side of the dump truck and crashes onto the road. I glance out the window and it's a dead squirrel! WTF! Was it trying to throw it away? Did it drop it on accident? Is this a game birds play?

Sheesh.

I'm too tired to write more now.

Some Anniversaries Are A Bitch

2005-12-28T04:40:00.000-05:00

Ah Friskey. It's been 6 months since you have passed. I've been such a wreck lately. How can I remember you and appreciate the time we had when everytime I think of you I start to cry? How can I learn to appreciate you?

I'm so sorry I was not there with you when you passed. I should have been and I will feel guilty always. I hope you understand and forgive me. The email Nathan sent me made me feel better and even a little less guilty perhaps, but it will never excuse how I left you.

I need to somehow move on. I need to be able to remember you and just laugh and embrace the almost 18 years we had together. I want to post a few of the letters I received here.

Dear Aunt Bainshee,
I am so sorry about Friskey.....I knew she meant a lot to you. I remember when I was five; you, mom, and Grandma went to the store, and left Zack and I, home to take care of her. I kept trying to get her to chase Zack's blanket strings, but all she did was stare at me, rub against me, and walked away. Later, while I was watching TV, she climbed on my head, and played with my hair.
I know you will miss her...everyone will. She was with us for a long time, but I'm sure, wherever she is, she will always be with you. There will never be another like Friskey, and we will miss her.

Sincerely, Karlee

I need to remind her to stop calling me Aunt. I think it's a novelty though, since I've never had them use Aunt. They don't when speaking. One would never guess she's only in 5th grade. [laughs] But that's Friskey for you. Just stare.

Tears are streaming down my face in sympathy for you right now, Bainshee. I can hardly see to write... I am so touched that you wrote this beautiful eulogy and shared your sorrow and wonderful memories of Friskey with us -- such a wonderful tribute you have paid to her. All of us who have lost precious animal friends are right there with you in your grieving, girlfriend. (I hope you won't mind me sharing this with Susan...)

Love and hugs,
Denise

Bainshee,

Your email made me cry. I had talked with Travis earlier today so I knew about Friskey. I am so sorry. I am trying to nurse Shy Girl right now myself. She has not been able to keep food down for the three days I have been home from a trip myself. She has many problems that I will not go into right now, for you have enough on your mind. Do not feel guilty! All I can say is that I am very sorry for your loss and I know that the words are not enough. Take care Bainshee. I still think of you often. Friskey is in a better place and I know that you will see her again someday.

I love you,
Mom 2

Nathan's is much longer, but I think I'll save it for myself and the others for myself. I'm already starting to lose it anyway. When I feel I can do it, I will draw a sketch for myself of Friskey.

I do want to write happier things though! I will either a little later or tomorrow.

Love you Friskers. Hope you have your own bed and don't have to worry about having to share with selfish youngers!

Extreme Restraint

2005-12-26T05:59:00.000-05:00

I only minded working Christmas for one reason. The Bears played the Packers on national TV at 4:30. I must be to work at 5:00. Thanks to the wonders of Digital Video Recorders, however, I was able to record the game.

Work was relaxed and pleasant. We played games and watched movies. I chose to remain working most of the time and did well to take my mind off the game. AND I did not peek at the score during my shift.

Get home at 3:00. Deep fry a few perogies, sprinkle with cheese, crack open a Diet Coke. I relax and start the game. Rex Grossman starting his first game of the year; I had sheltered and reserved hopes. The defense can handle the beat up Packers but I certainly wanted to see something from the offense with Rex back in the lineup. I wasn't disappointed.

Beautiful passing and running plays. The defense let the Pack run a little more over them then I liked, but I wanted a good game out of this too. I'd be berated by many Bears fans for this, but I love Bret Favre. Honestly I hate seeing him do so poorly. He's approaching 30 interceptions on the year. So many injuries to the Packers make him look much worse then he truly is. I think this will be the last year we'll see him on the field.

But he game back well in the 4th quarter when it counted. Had Ryan Longwell made the two field goals he missed, the outcome may have been much different. I got the best Christmas present though. A great game and a great Bears win that came down to the wire. And a pre-game special about the 1985 Chicago Bears. Isn't this how it should be? 20 years later.
We're Super Bowl bound.

Watching the game at 3:00 - 6:00 AM, well, I have to be considerate with regard to Rob. Anyone who watches a Bears game with me knows, I'll jump around, scream, cry and make a general ass of myself. This is one of the best Bears games I've seen in years and I couldn't make a peep. Years of watching a lackluster team and now I have such pent up energy.

In unrelated things, Peach is doing much better. He doesn't have a bladder infection, but it looks like he is going in renal failure like Friskey. [sighs] But he's okay now and doing much better. Anti-biotics again, an appointment on the 3rd and likely SQL fluids daily for the rest of his life. I really hate doing that to the poor guy.

But I swear... He friggin would not stop crying last night. He wanted to go outside so bad... So I took him out for a walk, but damn, that means he'll sit and cry and cry and cry. I haven't decided if I should take him out anymore.

Ah well, that's Peach for you.

And now, I'll sleep and dream of a Chicago Super Bowl.