Some Anniversaries Are A Bitch

Ah Friskey. It's been 6 months since you have passed. I've been such a wreck lately. How can I remember you and appreciate the time we had when everytime I think of you I start to cry? How can I learn to appreciate you?

I'm so sorry I was not there with you when you passed. I should have been and I will feel guilty always. I hope you understand and forgive me. The email Nathan sent me made me feel better and even a little less guilty perhaps, but it will never excuse how I left you.

I need to somehow move on. I need to be able to remember you and just laugh and embrace the almost 18 years we had together. I want to post a few of the letters I received here.

Dear Aunt Bainshee,
I am so sorry about Friskey.....I knew she meant a lot to you. I remember when I was five; you, mom, and Grandma went to the store, and left Zack and I, home to take care of her. I kept trying to get her to chase Zack's blanket strings, but all she did was stare at me, rub against me, and walked away. Later, while I was watching TV, she climbed on my head, and played with my hair.
I know you will miss her...everyone will. She was with us for a long time, but I'm sure, wherever she is, she will always be with you. There will never be another like Friskey, and we will miss her.

Sincerely, Karlee

I need to remind her to stop calling me Aunt. I think it's a novelty though, since I've never had them use Aunt. They don't when speaking. One would never guess she's only in 5th grade. [laughs] But that's Friskey for you. Just stare.

Tears are streaming down my face in sympathy for you right now, Bainshee. I can hardly see to write... I am so touched that you wrote this beautiful eulogy and shared your sorrow and wonderful memories of Friskey with us -- such a wonderful tribute you have paid to her. All of us who have lost precious animal friends are right there with you in your grieving, girlfriend. (I hope you won't mind me sharing this with Susan...)

Love and hugs,
Denise

Bainshee,

Your email made me cry. I had talked with Travis earlier today so I knew about Friskey. I am so sorry. I am trying to nurse Shy Girl right now myself. She has not been able to keep food down for the three days I have been home from a trip myself. She has many problems that I will not go into right now, for you have enough on your mind. Do not feel guilty! All I can say is that I am very sorry for your loss and I know that the words are not enough. Take care Bainshee. I still think of you often. Friskey is in a better place and I know that you will see her again someday.

I love you,
Mom 2

Nathan's is much longer, but I think I'll save it for myself and the others for myself. I'm already starting to lose it anyway. When I feel I can do it, I will draw a sketch for myself of Friskey.

I do want to write happier things though! I will either a little later or tomorrow.

Love you Friskers. Hope you have your own bed and don't have to worry about having to share with selfish youngers!