What Am I Smokin?

How surreal. The Bears going to the Super Bowl. I've said they'll go to the Super Bowl every year for what feels like my entire life. Really, I am dumbstruck. The weather did not cooperate for me that day though. First snow of the year and I have to drive through it with the roads being unplowed. Oh, and lets not forget I've not driven a real-wheel drive car in the snow in years -- If ever. I've never seen so many accidents right after another. It took an hour for me to go 20 miles. The skidding wasn't too bad, but its one of those things, in that, if it happens once you're startled and you'll be on edge the rest of the drive.

Anyway, that was interesting, huh? WTF Bears Super Bowl?!

I've been sucked into reading a new blog tonight Ham and Cheese on Wry. Witty, random and hilarious. This made me realize, my blog is not very hilarious. This then made me sad. A single tear ran silently down my cheek. Cause I'm emo and shit.

So, I sat here and thought to myself. I should post something funny. And it should be a good story. Well, something that happened two weeks ago immediately came to mind. Its funny, but embarrassing and confusing because I don't know what the fuck was wrong with me.

I'm the Assistant Producer on my project now. It sounds all high up and stuff, but its really not, its just a whole lot of spreadsheets and other computer program stuff with a fancy title. It was my first day back from nearly two weeks of vacation, and I started training with two coworkers. About an hour had passed of looking at spreadsheets and code and I was hurting. I knew I would not be retaining much of the information because it was overload and it was filtering out at that point.

We come close to the moment of horror. I have no explanation. I have no understanding at all of what is about to transpire. You've heard of people having visions, right? Hm, or how about being possessed? I've narrowed this down to a few possibilities.

1. I share part of my brain with someone with the IQ of 2.
2. I have an exceedingly rare form of Tourette's Syndrome which manifests at age 30 and will likely lead to Brain Cancer.
3. I was momentarily possessed by Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
4. I'm retarded.

Two o'clock in the afternoon, training with two guys I had never spoken to before who had been with the company a long time.

"So Bainshee, you'll take the file and move it to this folder and then open this program and import the file so that you can..."

"Hamburger."

For some reason known only to God, my brain decided right at that moment that I must say 'hamburger'. That's right, in the middle of training I interrupt and say 'hamburger' for no earthly fucking reason. They both just stopped and stared at me. What could I say?! Why the hell did I say that?! I must have looked completely dismantled being thoroughly confused and aghast. Then we went on with training. Of course, the entire time I'm trying to figure why the hell I just said 'hamburger'.

I wasn't hungry. I scanned the computer screen and found no word remotely similar to 'ham' or 'burger' in the spreadsheets. There was no evidence of a hamburger in the room.

I crack up about it now. Thank God I am not as easily embarrassed as I was when I was younger. It was still horrifying in a retarded, 'WTF is wrong with me' way! I mean, what if the word of my desire was not 'hamburger' but something much more horrifying?

And what if...it happens again.

I may need to be admitted. This also makes me sad.